Are you there God? It's me. I’m in menopause.

Gen X women are refusing to suffer in silence

In July of 1983, days after reading Judy Blume’s seminal novel about menstruation, I got my first period while on a summer trip to my grandparents’ home. I was 12. Three biological children and 37 years later, I had my last period in July of 2020. I was 49.

A few months after that last period, I made an appointment with my doctor to talk about all of the new weird symptoms I was experiencing: sleeplessness, brain fog, headaches, dry skin, hot flashes, having to pee constantly, and bursts of anger so intense that I fantasized about cutting our living room couch in half with a chainsaw.

As my doctor reviewed my blood panel, she informed me that my hormones indicated I was officially in menopause. And then she asked me, “Is that ok with you?” This seemed like an odd question. Mainly because I wasn’t sure what my options were if I wasn’t “ok” with being menopausal, but also because she wasn’t offering any solutions to the symptoms I was experiencing.

“What about hormone replacement therapy?” I asked. My doctor’s face contorted as though I’d asked her if I should take up smoking. “The side effects aren’t worth it unless you’re really suffering. And I wouldn’t want you to risk getting breast cancer.”

To be clear, I was suffering, but apparently not enough (I’d love to know who gets to decide how much a woman should suffer?). And I also have no familial history of breast cancer (which my doctor was aware of).

While I didn’t know much about hormone replacement therapy at the time, I knew enough to want better answers. I read up on the subject, including the incredibly helpful book “Estrogen Matters: Why Taking Hormones in Menopause Can Improve Women's Well-Being and Lengthen Their Lives — Without Raising the Risk of Breast Cancer,” by Avrum Bluming and Carol Tavris. And then I went to menopause.org and made an appointment with a gynecologist who I knew in advance supported HRT.

Three years later, I’m a proponent — possibly even a proselytizer — about the godsend that is HRT. I’m sleeping better, my brain fog evaporated, and my mood has improved. And while I understand HRT is not for everyone — like any medical treatment there are downsides and even overpromises — the women it might help deserve to understand the risks and benefits and make that decision for themselves.

I’m incredibly angry that for a generation, a combination of bad science, too little medical training and misogyny resulted in a dearth of information about menopause and related treatment options. And it’s a tragedy that many of our mothers were robbed of access to HRT to prevent symptomatic suffering and to provide long-term health protections.

By 2025 it’s estimated that there will be 1.1 billion post-menopausal women in the world. Gen X women like me, 40 million of whom are now well into their forties and above, hold over $15 trillion dollars in purchasing power. We’re the wealthiest, healthiest, and most active generation in history.

And that is why menopause is finally being recontextualized — instead of suffering in silence, the women of Gen X are leading its rewriting.