Ask me anything

My responses to the questions you asked me!

A few months ago I put out a call for Ask Me Anything questions and I wanted to circle back to answer a handful of them. Thank you for submitting your questions!

What has worked for you to keep moving, going and reinventing your life physically and emotionally? Have you picked up a new hobby or exercise or any diet? How do you deal with your emotion when you’re overwhelmed (w/ sadness or sorrow)?
- Makiko

I have to say that the one thing that keeps me steady and grounded is my incredibly strong relationship with my husband. Having been married twice, I’m grateful to have found someone who makes me feel secure enough to be myself and to also push myself to live up to my potential. I’m really physically active—not to lose weight, but to stay strong and control the hyperactive part of my brain (the H in ADHD can be as mental as it is physical). I hike, run, lift weights, walk, and do IMX Pilates several times a week. I want to be tired when I go to bed at night! My main hobbies are ancestry (I’m going to get my certificate as a genealogist from Boston University next year) and flower arranging (something I started studying during the pandemic). When I’m sad or overwhelmed I find exercise helps me destress and if that doesn’t work, I confide in my husband and he’s a positive sounding board.

Do you have any plans to run for office?
- Samantha, 36

I feel like I’ve been running for office for over a decade! I would never say never, but for now, I’m just enjoying recruiting other progressive women to run for office and supporting their campaigns through Emerge America.

How is it going with making friends?
- Charlotte, 42

Up and down! On the upside, I have more friends I speak to regularly now via text and phone, and that feels nice—I have people I can reach out to (other than my husband) when I need advice or when I have something to confide. And while I’m busier than ever with campaign work, I’ve made a few friends out on the trail. On the downside, I’ve found that the more open and vulnerable I am, the more I realize there are people I need to distance myself from because they don’t have my best interests at heart (and maybe I thought they did because I wasn’t actually working to get closer to them before). I hope that after the election, I can get back to getting together with friends in person!

How do you keep yourself motivated doing activism work with all of the highs and lows (mostly lows) and the frustration that comes with this type of slow, incremental work?
- Barbara, 54

It’s important to have the mindset that incremental change is what leads to revolutions. It took over 100 years to win the right to vote for all women. It took over 40 years to legalize same-sex marriage. It took over 20 years to lower legal blood alcohol levels in all 50 states. It took over 100 years to pass child labor laws in all 50 states. It took 14 years to get the Voting Rights Act signed into law.

Setbacks in activism are inevitable, and it’s important to remember that even if you lose a battle, you’ve had wins along the way—wins that will help you be victorious the next time. I call this “losing forward.” For example, if a bad bill you tried to stop passes anyway, remember that you created new relationships, learned more about the legislative process, and amassed more political power along the way.

Failure is feedback and not something to be afraid of, but to see as a way to position you to win the next time.

I know you have a book coming out. What is it about? When can we buy it?
- Tanya, 62

Glad you asked Tanya! I’m getting ready to start promoting it here on Substack soon, including a cover reveal. I’m excited to announce that it will be available in June of 2025. And we’ll be integrating the book into the Playing with Fire community. More details coming!