Featured Firestarter

Nov 29, 2023

Kerry, age 55, Florida, USA
@kerry.kriseman.author on Instagram,

on Substack

How did you find your spark?

As a 22-year political spouse [of former mayor Rick Kriesman], it was necessary to define myself and cultivate a personal brand apart from my politician husband. I'm an Accidental First Lady, which also happens to be the the title of my book, published in 2021. When we made the decision for him to run for public office in 1999, I did not know what living an increasingly public life would mean for me. Throughout eight political campaigns, eight years as St. Petersburg's first lady, raising kids, navigating a fire that claimed our home and our beloved labradors, being diagnosed with ovarian cancer, supporting my son after an antisemitic attack, I realized that I was a survivor.

As a survivor, it's my duty to advocate for those who can't. Political life wasn't easy much of the time, particularly with the prevalence of social media and the vitriol it invites, but I found the greatest byproduct of living an unintended public life is the community that was created. I began to reframe my life, and the inevitable challenges we all will face if we're lucky to live long enough, into a framework for living. I know I'm fortunate to have support, be financially stable, have friends, family, and medical care that was close by. I'm gratefully on the other side now, which is why I'm an Advocate Leader and Survivors Teaching Students presenter for the Ovarian Cancer Research Alliance.

What fires have you started in your life or in the lives of others?

I use my voice and platform as a former political spouse to lead, inspire and help. In addition to everything mentioned above, I'm a puppy raiser for Southeastern Guide Dogs. We've raised 13 pups for the organization, and while all do not become service animals, none of them are failures. One of our pups is now a certified therapy dog. We visit patients at Tampa General Hospital every Friday. It is a privilege for people in such a vulnerable position, who you've never met, to welcome you into their world, all because they wanted to see a friendly Labrador.

I live on fire by looking for connections with people I don't know. I formerly avoided small talk and conversing with strangers. I believe in the power of sharing conversation with someone you don't know, who is unlike you, and even has opposite political views. We all have something in common, and the only way this damaged world will improve is if we improve our relationships with the people who share our space. This is living on fire. It starts with a conversation, which leads to a connection, then creates community.

What obstacles have you had to overcome?

Imposter syndrome, feeling like I didn't have a voice, or that my story mattered. As an "average person" writing her memoir, I learned that there is value in all our stories. We all may not be compelled to tell our story through memoir and become a published author, but should we desire to share, we should. I've had to learn to define my personal brand as a political spouse when others called me arm candy, Stepford Wife, or secret weapon. Many view the female spouse beside the male politician as simply someone who makes his life possible. Instead, I had to learn how to position myself without adversely affecting his campaign or tenure as an equal partner and part of the team.

What new fires are you starting?

I have faith. I lean on family and friends. My mother worked two jobs to raise us after she and my dad divorced. Although he was a presence, he did not always adequately contribute financially, despite having the means. When my mom was fired at 50 because she wasn't computer savvy enough, she put her love of cleaning and organizing to work and started her own business. She celebrates her 80th birthday in January and still works. How could I give up on anything when I have a role model like that?

I also know that tomorrow is a new day. I know that so many have it worse than I, no matter whether my home burns or I'm diagnosed with cancer. I had support, resources, and many don't. That's how I rise. I'm cognizant of what I have and of my immense privilege in this world. I practice gratitude, too. It may seem trivial, and it is somewhat of a buzzword these days, but it's important to be intentionally grateful for what is in front of you, and the people who are in your life.

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