Is it ok to fight like a mother?

The political pragmatism and durability of motherhood politics

I often get asked, “Why did you name your organization Moms Demand Action?” The question is nuanced depending on who’s asking it. Sometimes it’s a young or single woman who feels I’ve Karened their gun safety activism. Sometimes it’s a man who feels I’ve left him out of the fun, even though he’s on our side. And sometimes it’s a middle-aged mom who’s worried I’ve alienated anyone who isn’t a mom.

I wish I could say I carefully chose the name after a long and nuanced branding exercise based on polling and field research, but the truth is I’d originally named the organization One Million Moms for Gun Control, not realizing that One Million Moms already existed as an anti-LGBTQ group, and those actual Karens were threatening to sue me for infringing on their name. In an effort to avoid exorbitant legal fees, I pivoted to what our volunteers had been chanting for weeks at marches and rallies: “MOMS DEMAND ACTION!”

But as haphazard as the naming process was, using the word “moms” was deliberate. As someone who came of age in the 1980s, I’d always admired the strident and efficient activism of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), a nationwide, chapter-based organization led by women. I also wanted to focus specifically on women and mothers because since prohibition, they have been the secret sauce to organizing in America – from the women (many of them Black women) who demanded the right to vote, fought for civil rights, made drunk driving culturally unacceptable, and exposed the water crisis in Flint, Michigan. When women get involved, they force change. 

Data bears this out — studies show that women experience attitudinal shifts when they become mothers, making them avid and dependable swing voters. In addition, “mother” is a broad-based identity that appeals across the political spectrum to build support for candidates and policy issues. There are about 80 million moms in America, and their votes are less ideological and more issue-specific. For example, current polling shows that the majority of mothers in America support similar legislative solutions to gun violence, regardless of political party. In other words, motherhood has always been a political football in the United States, and probably always will be.

I understand that doubling down on motherhood may seem anachronistic, but it's pragmatic. While women have made significant strides in the past few decades, the onus of caretaking still rests on women and mothers’ shoulders. And while we bear the brunt of emotional labor, we only hold about 25 percent of the 500,000 elected positions in this country while making up less than 10 percent of Fortune 1000 CEOs. We don't have a seat at the table, so we often end up on the menu. On top of all of that, we live in a society in which middle-aged women – especially women of color – are either derided or discarded, but certainly not made to feel empowered.

With that in mind, I worked hard to stay away from saccharine and sentimental stereotypes when creating Moms Demand Action’s brand. My goal was to embolden women not just to become activists, but to stand up to armed extremists, to push back on authority, and, ultimately, to run for office. And it was important to me that women weren’t just making the snacks and setting up chairs for meetings while men set the strategy and took the spotlight – I wanted women to do it all, soup to nuts. To this day, I’m incredibly grateful to all of the men who proudly wear Moms Demand Action shirts and let women lead them.

Many volunteers — again, mostly women — join Moms Demand Action after sending their kids to Kindergarten and experiencing their first lockdown drill. It turns out the drive to protect your kids from senseless, preventable violence is powerful — even visceral. And after a decade of doing this work, I can assure you that our — mostly white, mostly male — lawmakers are either really terrified to see Moms Demand Action volunteers show up in their red shirts, or they're really grateful. And I'm fine with either emotion because they both move the needle. 

I’ve spent this year preparing to step back from my leadership role with Moms Demand Action, and I look forward to seeing how the organization grows and changes after I join the rank-and-file volunteers in my home state — and for all I know, some day that may include a name change. I will always hold out hope that women will be able to garner enough parity and power that they can just be activists in their own right. But until then, I’ll be fighting like a mother.