One of the most important leadership lessons I've learned: We are all leaders

The text of my last speech as a Moms Demand Action leader; delivered at Gun Sense University in Chicago

This GSU is particularly poignant for me given that it is my last as a Moms Demand Action leader. Typically, I use this time to celebrate all of your incredible victories – and there are plenty. But this year I’m passing that honor on to Angela Ferrell-Zabala, Moms Demand Action’s new executive director. I’ll use my time today to honor some of our most significant accomplishments over the past decade and reflect on lessons learned along the way. But first a caveat: I started Moms Demand Action because there was no national woman-led volunteer organization working on this issue. It was before Students Demand Action was founded and before so many of you joined our ranks. So my remarks today will be focused mainly on women, but please know how thankful we all are for the support of every person in the audience who is an ally and advocate.

But back to 2012 when Moms Demand Action was founded. There was no roadmap for how an army of angry women could take down the most powerful and wealthy special interest that ever existed. The only way to forge that path was to walk it every day. Together. And along the way, we became each other’s teachers, co-conspirators and friends. We celebrated every victory big and small, and after every setback we dug deep and found the strength to keep going. In the process, we rewrote history and saved countless lives. Through the years, we didn’t just choose to get off the sidelines – we dared to tell our stories, to stand up for ourselves and others, and to encourage each other to take on roles we never imagined we were qualified for. And that brings me to one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in the last decade: We are all leaders.

You already know I was a stay-at-home mom of five when I posted my plea for change on Facebook after the shooting at Sandy Hook School. But what you might not know is that as a 41-year-old woman in Indiana, not many people looked at me and saw a leader. In fact, in the early days of Moms Demand Action, I was told routinely that I wasn’t qualified, that what I was doing was duplicative, or that it simply couldn’t be done. But I didn’t listen to the naysayers; I listened to my gut. I know that sentiment resonates with many of you because women – especially women of color and older women – are often told they have nothing valuable to offer. But our wealth of experiences and expertise are actually the answer to many of the most pressing problems in the world today. We’ve been sold the myth that leadership is something inherent – you’re either born with it or you're not. But everyone can be a leader, and as women we already fill that role in so many areas of our lives, from our families to our workplaces to our communities.

Even in the earliest days of our organization, it was clear our volunteers were learning more than just how to take on the gun lobby – they were learning how to take power, and to insist on a seat at the table. Moms Demand Action created a whole new way of finding, training and uplifting women leaders from all walks of life. Yes, we advocate for gun safety, but also for ourselves — and I’m proud to say that many of you have taken what you’ve learned and used it to get a new job or a promotion, to start your own organizations and foundations, to run for office, or simply to inspire others to join you in this fight.

And inspiration is such an important part of this work. I couldn’t have started Moms Demand Action without the guidance of other women. Growing up in Rochester, New York, I was taught that the activists who lived in my town were heroes – women like Harriet Tubman, Clara Barton, Hester Jeffrey. And then, when I started Moms Demand Action, so many women across the country – all of whom were total strangers – rallied around me and taught me about gun violence, organizing and how to navigate the legislative landscape.

Which brings me to another important lesson: surround yourself with women role models and supporters who will encourage you to challenge the status quo. I’ve been blessed to be mentored by amazing women like Congresswoman Lucy McBath, along with other colleagues and friends who serve as an informal circle of advisers and supporters. We all need good people around us to be able to do this work every day, and I’ve heard from many of you that your Moms Demand Action chapter has become like a second family. From starting meal trains, to holding someone’s hand in a courthouse, to taking care of each other’s kids – you’ve rallied around each other and created communities that will be a part of your lives forever.

And that’s important when you’re in a long-haul fight like this one, because another lesson is that there is power in showing up as a group over and over again. In the past 10 years, you’ve jammed the hallways of Congress with strollers, testified late into the night, and packed statehouses so often and for so long that our red shirts have become ubiquitous across the country. Your constant presence at school board meetings, at bill hearings, and in Washington, DC, has made it clear to lawmakers that moms are everywhere — we’re always watching.

Gone are the days when the gun lobby could push through dangerous bills with no repercussions.

Showing up is how the work happens, even though our culture often views activism as something that burns hot and quick. Too many people believe that one post, one protest, one policy can somehow solve complex problems. But the reality is it takes years of small changes to lay the groundwork for big ones. And that brings me to another lesson: incremental change leads to revolutions. I often look to the women’s suffrage movement when I need a reminder of the power of relentless incrementalism. It took 100 years of tireless advocacy to win the right for all women – not just white women – to vote. And on days when this work has been hard, I remind myself that if those activists had given up ten years in, we wouldn’t be here today.

You’ve heard me say that women uniquely understand the strategic importance of doing the unglamorous, heavy lifting of grassroots advocacy. All those late nights, early mornings, freezing Advocacy Days and scorching rallies you’ve shown up for helped chip away at the gun industry’s power. Whether it’s getting your school board to pass a secure storage resolution or beating back permitless carry, the incremental work matters — it all adds up. It’s how we passed over 500 gun safety laws in red, blue and purple states. It’s how we defeated the gun lobby’s agenda in statehouses 90 percent of the time nine years in a row. It’s how we've sent secure storage information home with millions of school students. And it’s how we unlocked over 2 billion dollars in life-saving funding for violence intervention programs.

Those wins, of course, don’t tell the full story because we don’t always win the first time — or even the second time. When we’re stymied, we change course. When reckless policies are pushed through, we give lawmakers hell for voting yes and then we find another way to fight. It’s all part of our strategy: when lawmakers close a door, we go in through the window. Call it a fierceness gap, but for all their bluster, gun extremists don’t have the energy to play the long game. They show up, yell loudly for a while, and then head home while the women with signs and strollers stick around. That’s Big Mom Energy, and we’ve cornered the market on it. We’ve shown that we’ll be around long after the other side puts down their guns and goes home, which brings me to another lesson, courtesy of Babe Ruth: “You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up.”

Women are the secret sauce of activism because even when faced with a powerful adversary, we don’t back down – we double down. Persistence is our superpower. We’ve pulled every lever of power available to us and changed the culture, candidates, and course of history on this issue. We’ve normalized talking about gun safety on the campaign trail, in classrooms, and in our communities.

We call out lawmakers when they offer only thoughts and prayers or try to blame gun violence on anything but guns. Because, as we all know, it is, in fact, the fucking guns.

We turned the NRA’s A-rating into a scarlet letter and exposed them for the toxic, corrupt mess they are. We created a gun sense candidate distinction, which thousands of politicians now vie for. And we’re running our volunteers against gun lobby-backed lawmakers, flipping seats and securing gun sense majorities. All of that has led to a seismic shift in American politics. In 2012, a quarter of all Democrats in Congress had an A-rating from the NRA — now not a single one does. In the spring of 2013, bipartisan gun safety legislation failed by a handful of votes in the Senate — but in 2022, we got 15 Republican Senators to vote yes.

But the work isn’t done. Lawmakers on the far right are pushing policies that endanger our families and communities. We’re seeing gun extremism increasingly linked with dangerous anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-women legislation. And this rising danger brings me to my last lesson, courtesy of Alice Walker: “Activism is our rent for living on the planet.” So many people don’t like where the world is going, but they also don’t know what to do other than binge-watch Ted Lasso. But every one of you knows what to do. And thanks to our work together, you know how to do it. You all have a role to play – from the retired grandmother making GSAN calls to the Students Demand Action volunteer registering people to vote on campus to the survivor who tells their story to lawmakers to the young mom who decides to run for a school board seat.

Because, at the end of the day, we all have a moral obligation to act given the state of the world. And, as women, acting is a matter of self-preservation. As the saying goes, if you don’t have a seat at the table, you’re probably on the menu.

And given that women hold less than a third of the 500,000 elected positions in this country, women’s safety, women’s rights and women’s freedoms are on the menu.

Having more women wield their power for change benefits everyone by creating a world that is more equitable, collaborative and compassionate. Moms Demand Action has always been proudly women-led. And as women leaders, we all have a responsibility to lift as we climb — when we walk through a door, we have to offer our hand to the next woman coming through, and commit to mentoring and supporting her.

And that brings me back to my own journey. At the end of every year for over a decade, I’ve asked myself whether it’s time to step back so others can step forward. When I got off the sidelines in 2012, my goal was to help pass federal gun safety legislation. Thanks to your tireless advocacy, we passed the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act last year. For me, that was a logical bookend to my leadership, and I knew it was time for me to hand the torch over to the woman who could help write the next chapter of our organization.

Angela, it’s an honor to call you my friend and colleague, and I know you’re absolutely the right woman for this job. You’re a lifelong organizer and a fierce protector who goes hard for your people. You’re tenacious, strategic and passionate. You’re guided by your heart, your faith and your family. I know you’ll never give up because you believe so strongly in what we’re fighting for — an America free of gun violence.

I now know that the way the movement talks about and tackles this work has to continue to evolve if it is to last into perpetuity. I also know, thanks to all of you, that the flame I ignited amid my own outrage and heartbreak 10 years ago will continue to burn in the years to come. And I know I’ll be cheering you all on as a local and vocal California Moms Demand Action volunteer as we continue to force change in the years to come.

It has truly been the honor of a lifetime to lead this organization. Because of your trust, kindness, support and generosity, my life has been forever changed for the better. And because of your tireless efforts and your refusal to give up in the face of fear and hopelessness, so many others’ lives have been changed for the better, too.

I’ll close with my Irish ancestors’ goodbye blessing:

“May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of Her hand.” In other words, keep going.