Trials, tribulations, tips and takeaways from 2024

Revisiting some lessons learned during a very intense year of earth school

“I consider the world, this Earth, to be like a school, and our life the classrooms,” Oprah Winfrey

A new year confronts all of us with the fact that, whether we keep pace or not, time moves on. To make the most of our lives now and in the months and years to come, we have to face what is standing between us and our ideal life—whether it’s the fear of change or complacency—and move through it. As a New Year’s baby, the end of each year is also the end of another trip around the sun. And as I wrap up my 53rd year of earth school, I’m reflecting on some of the lessons I learned this year—some learned the hard way with plenty of self-inflicted suffering and some that are proud milestones toward my progress as a human.

Say yes to new opportunities to figure out your next chapter

When I stepped back from Moms Demand Action at the end of 2023, I wrote a Substack essay called Shannon in the Bardo. Bardo is a Tibetan term that means “intermediate state,” the ungrounded but unavoidable feeling of having one foot in the past and one foot in the future. I was self-aware enough to know I was about to suffer a blow to my ego—after all, my entire identity had been my role as the organization's founder for 11 years. And 2024 was the first year since my early 40s that I wasn’t the Moms Demand Action leader; I wasn’t traveling to rally the moms troops; I wasn’t working on gun safety legislation. But interestingly, once I was done, I was done. There wasn’t as much suffering as I’d expected. In fact, I was more than ready to move on to my next chapter: empowering women and sharing the lessons I’ve learned through organizing and coaching. And because I was looking forward and not backward, I was given plenty of opportunities to lean into that transition during the year, including organizing the White Women: Answer the Call Zoom in July. After 44,000 women gathered with “Win with Black Women” to support Kamala Harris, I tweeted that white women should honor and emulate them and do the same. Nearly 200,000 women joined our Zoom three days later, and we raised almost $11 million in two hours. Soon, I was known not as the Moms Demand Action leader but as a surrogate for the Harris/Walz campaign, working to get a majority of white women to vote for the first Black woman President. If I’d been stuck in the past, I might not have seized the opportunity to do something different.

Downtime must be scheduled

Because I was so anxious about the transition into my next chapter and—gasp—not having enough to do, I didn’t trust myself enough to just relax into whatever came next. I’m so glad and grateful Maria Shriver gave me the opportunity to write a book for her imprint Open Field about everything I’ve learned in my life about helping women summon their audacity. Writing my new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age (available for preorder now!), was a joy, but also a heavy lift. I interviewed over 70 women and spent eight to 10 hours writing at my desk each day, including weekends. And on top of that full-time job, I also enrolled in a program at Boston University to get a genealogy certification, took up boxing, and traveled across the country to help three kids move into new apartments. Because I was so busy, the things I typically do to keep myself centered—from meditation to exercise to relaxing with a good book—took a backseat the first half of the year. As a result, I often felt overwhelmed and even cranky. In retrospect, I wish I’d remembered that busyness isn’t the same thing as purpose (something I write about in my book) and that downtime and space is the key to nourishing my creativity. Going forward, I’ll be building pleasure into my daily schedule.

I love working with other women toward a common goal

But no matter how exhausted I was, I never tired of interviewing women from all walks of life about their lives for my book FIRED UP. It was a joy and an honor to hear about all of the internal and external obstacles they had to overcome in their lives, what they learned along the way, and how they decided to live (and die) without regrets. From a woman who became a firefighter in her 40s to a woman who became a published author in her 70s, I spoke with dozens of what I call “Firestarters”—women who choose to prioritize their desires over societal expectations. They own their narratives and trust themselves above all else, letting their desires guide them in life. They’re fiercely alive and unapologetically themselves, taking risks and embracing failure. And they’re always open to finding and following their next fire – no matter where it takes them. This brings me to one of the most important lessons I learned this year: I’m not as interested in politics as I am in empowering and encouraging women to become Firestarters. My activism and organizing are simply byproducts of my desire to see women thrive and succeed. From organizing women around gun safety through Moms Demand Action to my work to help elect women to office with Emerge America to my effort to get out the vote with the Harris/Walz campaign to my new book FIRED UP, I want to help women figure out what lights them up and create their own individual and unique legacies, no matter how old (or young) they are.

Thanks to being open to new opportunities, I got to meet Oprah this year! (I’d met the VP before and she’s amazing, too)

It IS possible to make new friends after age 50

Earlier this year, I wrote about how I studied how to make friends after age 50 when I decided to step back from my leadership role with Moms Demand Action. I realized that I was about to have an inordinate amount of time on my hands and very few people to spend it with. By then, I was 52, and if I wanted to try to make new friends, it felt like now or never. So, I did what I always do when I start a new project: I tried to learn as much as possible about how to do the thing before actually doing the thing. I listened to more podcasts, bought books, surveyed my followers on social media, and asked my kids how they made friends. After studying something that seems intuitive to most people, I set out on my own journey to make friends. And it worked: In the past year, I’ve added about five women as new friends to my life — not best friends, but women I enjoy spending time with and want to get to know better. Even though I’m an only child and an introvert, I’ve come to realize it’s essential to interact with women of all ages and create community. After all, if we learned any lesson after this year’s election loss, it’s that we all need to spend less time online and more time having conversations in real life. I plan to spend more time in 2025 strengthening my friendships and cultivating new relationships, too.

My kids’ journeys are their own

One of my daughters is working on her master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy, and she told me recently that parents can be divided into two buckets: Parents who love raising young children and parents who love guiding adult children. I fall into the latter category. Don’t get me wrong—I loved my sweet and playful kids when they were little, but I realize my personality is more suited to helping my older kids (now 24, 28, 29, 31, and 36) navigate adulthood. I’m the parent who gets called in the middle of the night when a malfunctioning fire alarm won’t turn off; I’m the parent who explains how to write a resume and prepare for a job interview; I’m the parent who gets called for advice after a fight with a friend. 2024 was filled with plenty of adult kid quagmires, including three really difficult, painful breakups with partners and friends. But there were also breakthroughs; one of my kids finally came out publicly as trans and changed their name. My job during all of these transitions has been to give advice, but not to judge or try to steer the outcome. It's not that I don’t have strong opinions or even worries about what my kids are doing with and in their lives, but they have lessons to learn, too. My instinct as a parent is to control, but by stepping back and creating distance—by observing what my kids are doing instead of trying to determine an outcome—it’s brought me closer to my kids even though they’re all grown.

Menopause isn’t the end; it’s a new beginning

My mom grew up in a generation of women who weren’t expected to go to college or have careers, and they definitely weren’t expected to have a robust life after age 50. I’m so grateful to live during a time when those societal expectations and limitations are changing. Women aren’t stuck in outdated narratives about aging; we’re not fading into the background; and we’re not apologizing for taking up space. We’re redefining what beauty, style, and aging look like. And many of us are starting new fires during the second half of our lives, including traveling, returning to school, starting new hobbies, and building businesses. And sometimes, those new fires mean we have to burn other things down in our lives that have been holding us back, including marriages, friendships, careers—and even our own constructs of what our lives should be instead of what we need or want them to be. I’ve been on that journey in the past year, and thanks to menopause hormone therapy, Pilates, and weightlifting, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been physically. And maybe because I’m older and wiser, I’m mentally stronger than I’ve ever been, too. Gone are the pressures to achieve, along with the feelings of competitiveness, scarcity, and not having or being enough. I know in my heart that the best things in my life, including a whole lot of new lessons, are yet to come…

In the comments below, please share at least one important lesson you’ve learned this year.

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My upcoming book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age, is now available for preorder! This book is my guide to figuring out what lights you up and will show you how to live on fire every day. Click here to preorder and get locked into some incredible bonuses.