A fresh morning in a broken world

Where do we go from here?

“It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world,” Mary Oliver

Last night, I tried to do things differently than in 2016 when I attended Hillary Clinton’s election night party at the Javits Center. I dressed in all black instead of the white suit I’d worn in honor of suffragists. To ward off anxiety attacks like the one I’d had eight years ago, I nibbled off the corner of a THC gummy. And to make sure I didn’t ghost my plus-one again if things started going downhill, I went solo.

See? This night wouldn’t be anything like that horrible night back in 2016.

Only it was. About an hour in, as Yogi Berra once said, it was Déjà vu all over again. Up on the giant television screens simulcasting four different networks, the results were immediately concerning. Instead of a clear repudiation of Donald Trump and his hateful agenda, it appeared voters were actually clamoring for more. Trump wasn’t just winning red states—he was dominating. And soon, he was making gains in blue states, too.

People around me kept saying, “This is the early red wave we expected. Stay calm. The blue wall will hold,” but in my gut, I knew better. I was certain we were going to lose. Instead of boarding the shuttle to Howard University, I went to my room where I took off my black suit, jewelry, and makeup, put on a robe, and got into bed to watch MSNBC. During one very meta moment, on-air anchor Joy Reid explained to an Election Night panel that part of the reason Harris/Walz was losing was that white women were, once again, voting for Donald Trump: “This will be the second opportunity that white women in this country have to change the way that they interact with the patriarchy. God bless Shannon Watts, who tried to have that conversation. But if people are not receptive to it, there’s not much you can do but tell people what the risks are and trust them to do the right thing.”

I’d spent the last 100-plus days beating the drum about the need for white women to vote not in their own self-interest but in all women’s best interests. However, exit polling data showed that about 52 percent of white women had voted for Donald Trump once again, and only college-educated white women increased their share of votes for Democrats. I was embarrassed, disappointed, angry. What was the point of working so hard if we hadn’t moved the needle?

But then I remembered our motto at Moms Demand Action: losing forward. In any advocacy work, doors get slammed in your face—literally and figuratively. And when a door closes, you just have to find a way in through a window. Because the power of losing forward comes from never giving up. In 2013, when the bipartisan Manchin-Toomey bill to close the background check loophole failed just a few months after the Sandy Hook School shooting, Moms Demand Action could have decided the nation wasn’t ready for change and given up. Instead, our volunteers realized that Congress wasn’t where our work should begin, but where it ended. Until we had the right Congress and President in place to pass federal laws (which we finally did in 2022), we would focus on state legislatures.

But even when you know there are things to learn from losing, it’s still hard. It can make you want to give up. It can make you feel like a loser. It can make you want to stop trying to protect your heart and ego. This is especially true for white privileged women like me. But that’s why losing forward is such an important lesson. As feminist writer Rebecca Traister has said,

“Losing is actually the default position when you’re coming from the margins and fighting the powerful system, so you lose a lot more than you win. In fact, one of the most crucial points of living a life in which you are correctly engaged in fighting for a better world is learning the skill of losing and continuing … The lesson from the history of long-term organizing is that you never cease the fight.”

So what does it look like to never stop fighting? As feminist author Soraya Chemaly wrote on Instagram this morning, “Feminist refusal is the new world order.” In other words, we must learn to live in defiance of this new administration every day by caring for one another, leading with compassion, and building loving communities. Now is the time to find the inner strength you inherited from the women who came before you who had to fight back against—and beat—oppression for decades. You can summon that inner strength by:

Taking care of yourself physically and mentally: My son texted me this morning, “I love you. Go outside today and get some sun.” And so I walked around the block outside my hotel and listened to music and, for a few minutes, didn’t think about what happened last night or catastrophize about what’s to come. For the foreseeable future, I’ll be listening to fewer political podcasts and more music. I’m going to be better about meditating regularly. I’m going to breathe, rest, and try to find glimmers of joy in my daily life. Not forever, but at least until the rage subsides.

Taking care of others: Studies show that taking care of or helping others activates the reward centers in our brains, releasing endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, which is why it’s sometimes referred to as a "helper's high." Consider volunteering or taking on a mentee or fundraising for a cause you care about.

Continuing your coalition building: Hopefully you built new relationships during the election cycle—don’t let them go dormant. Find new ways to get involved in local and national politics. Believe it or not, there are elections every year in most places and many politicians are already running for races in 2026.

Getting creative: If there was any good news from last night, it’s that abortion rights ballot initiatives won majority support in Arizona, Missouri, Colorado, Maryland, Montana, Nevada, and New York. Ballot initiatives are an important and effective way to force change in the two dozen states that allow them. Dream up other ways to pass policies or change culture that doesn’t require lawmaker approval. A door closed last night, so how will you go in the window?

Running for office: As the saying goes, when women don’t have a seat at the table, they’re on the menu. I believe there’s a moral imperative for women to run for office at all levels and at any age. Yet, recent data shows that fewer women have been running in recent years. I don’t care if you run for county coroner or city council or school board—find a race and go for it (and consider signing up for Emerge America to help train you).

These are some of my suggestions, but I’d love to hear yours in the comments below…

Women have been reaching out to me all day to ask what they should say to their children about last night’s loss. One woman wrote, “I need to direct myself and my girls toward doing something good. My rage is sitting very close under my sadness.” I think it’s ok to say exactly that to your kids: “I’m angry and I’m sad, but I’m your protector and as soon as I’ve recovered from the shock of this defeat, I’m going to keep fighting for your safety and freedoms so that you can learn how to do it for yourself and the family or community you’ll be part of one day. This is the work that is required of all of us when we’re fortunate enough to live in a democracy.”

Because the truth is that America has a long history of doing the wrong thing, and it’s only when people like us come together to force it to be better, kinder, and bolder that it shifts course. Coalitions are why the confederacy only lasted for four years and three weeks. America has faced existential threats before, and we have beaten them. But we only win if we refuse to give up.

To be sure, Donald Trump’s victory is a bad omen about where we are as a nation. His behavior is a threat to America and other democracies around the world. His agenda jeopardizes the safety and freedoms of women and marginalized communities. But his election is also a call to action and an opportunity to do the work that will reverse the damage that has been and will be done.

It’s on each of us to ensure that “We’re not going back” wasn’t just a campaign slogan that comes to an end with Kamala Harris’ campaign for president. The next four years will be exhausting and challenging, but also critical to the future of our nation. So, take today or this week or this month to be exhausted, angry, and anxious. And then, when you’re ready, decide how you will get back into the battle because it is also so often rewarding, rejuvenating and joyful.

We’re not going back as a nation, but we’re also not going back to who we were as individuals before this election. It’s time to take what we’ve learned and lose forward to help make sure we win the next time.

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