Pregnancy loss and infertility with Jami Crist

A Q&A with the author of the anthology "The Losses We Keep: Fertility, Loss, and Never-Ending Hope"

Before

Jami Crist

finally became a mother, she experienced four pregnancy losses—two in the second trimester and three surgeries—all in less than 30 months. Each time a doctor told Jamie she would miscarry, she looked online for the stories of other women for answers and comfort. What kind of medical help did they find? How did they finally have a successful pregnancy? How did they survive mentally? However, finding these kinds of stories from other women was difficult, so Jamie collected the stories that helped her in an anthology, The Losses We Keep: Fertility, Loss, and Never-Ending Hope, to help others.

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Why is shedding light on the topic of pregnancy loss and infertility so important?

Pregnancy loss and infertility are more common than we realize. For instance, one in four known pregnancies end in pregnancy loss, and 90 percent of women experiencing infertility report feeling isolated. It's our responsibility to break the silence and publicly discuss these topics, as not doing so has real consequences. By understanding the prevalence of these issues, we can create a sense of shared experience and reduce feelings of isolation. Without a fundamental grasp of what pregnancy loss and infertility involve, we're ill-equipped to anticipate its challenges or provide meaningful support to those experiencing it. Our inability to comprehend these experiences hinders our capacity to develop effective, modern solutions or cultivate genuine empathy for those affected. It's crucial to dismantle this destructive cycle of ignorance and forge a path towards awareness and compassion.  

By openly discussing and acknowledging the realities of loss and infertility, we can create a society that's better prepared to offer support, understanding, and appropriate care. This shift in perspective is essential in building a healthier, more empathic approach to an experience that affects so many, yet remains shrouded in silence. 

Why did you write an anthology instead of a memoir about your story?

Community is the catalyst for change, and bringing women together to tell their stories would impact the reader and the public more than just sharing mine. By emphasizing the role of community in sharing and understanding these experiences, we can foster a sense of connection and support among our readers. 

What are the themes covered by the contributing authors?

The anthology covers a diverse range of themes related to fertility challenges and pregnancy loss, including pregnancy loss at various stages, fertility challenges and treatments, IVF experiences, surrogacy journeys, and cancer and its impact on fertility. This diversity ensures that every reader can find a story that resonates with their own experiences, fostering a sense of inclusion and understanding in the community. 

• It demonstrates that fertility challenges and pregnancy loss affect women from various backgrounds, helping readers feel less alone in their experiences.

• The different stories provide multiple perspectives and coping strategies, offering readers a range of experiences they might relate to. 

• By sharing their personal journeys, the authors create solidarity and support for readers going through similar situations. We say it’s the shittiest club with the best members because we get it. 

• The variety of experiences showcased in the book helps break the silence surrounding these often taboo topics and fosters a more open and supportive community that could actually help readers. It’s hoped that this book can be a resource for readers.

How does your book delve into abortion?

The book aims to provide a deeper understanding of the complex and often misunderstood reasons behind abortion decisions and how state laws can either support or hinder women's access to safe and timely abortion care. It's an option that might save that woman's life and avoid tremendous turmoil, heartache, and financial devastation. The Losses We Keep provides several examples of women's journeys who have had to go through abortions and why they had to make that decision. In this book, the contributing authors had access to abortion care because of the state they lived in and showcased how it helped them. We recognize that's not every woman's journey; women are dying because they can't receive the proper care at all or in time.

According to a Tulane University study, states with the higher score of abortion policy composite index had a 7 percent increase in total maternal mortality compared with states with lower abortion policy. States with a licensed physician requirement had a 51 percent higher total maternal mortality and a 35 percent higher maternal mortality (i.e., a death during pregnancy or within 42 days of being pregnant), and restrictions on state Medicaid funding for abortion were associated with a 29 percent higher total maternal mortality. Texas is an example; we are seeing a dramatic rise in pregnant women dying after abortion bans. NBC News reported that from 2019 to 2022, the rate of maternal mortality cases in Texas rose by 56 percent, compared with just 11 percent nationwide during the same period. 

This book is a resource to help educate those who are unsure or need to understand why women need to have the right to decide on an abortion. It's also about access to IVF treatments, contraception, and more. It's all interconnected.

Regarding pregnancy and infant loss, what are the most critical statistics women need to know?

I believe the most crucial ones that women should be aware of are: 

• Fifteen to 20 percent of women who experience pregnancy loss suffer from long-term depression and anxiety (The Lancet Psychiatry, 2021)

• Ninety percent of women with infertility feel isolated; 40 percent avoid social situations (Fertility Network UK, 2020)

• Only 25 percent of U.S. fertility clinics routinely refer patients to mental health professionals (ASRM, 2021)

• Fifty percent of women experiencing pregnancy loss do not seek counseling (University of Michigan, 2018)

• Up to 30 percent of women in specific ethnic groups avoid professional help due to cultural barriers (Reproductive Health, 2020)

These statistics collectively emphasize the widespread emotional impact of fertility challenges and pregnancy loss, as well as the current gaps in support and care. They underscore the importance of destigmatizing these experiences and improving access to comprehensive support services, including mental and healthcare. 

Connect with Jami: Website // Instagram // TikTok // Substack

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