Thank you for this post. I am in my 70’s now, and my own losses compelled me to read your article. As a 40-something I was the oldest student in my elementary teaching credential cohort, but I found my niche nurturing and educating other people’s young children.
Thank you Sharon from the bottom of my heart!! At age 80, vivid memories of struggles with infertility and the loss of 2 pregnancys linger...albeit now without the pain. My 2 boys, 9 yrs. apart. mean the world to me.
My firstborn was age 4 when my stillbirth occurred at 19 weeks. Words cannot express my Devastation, I had been on Clomid (?)!
I felt unqualified to reach out to others facing infertility issues. After all, since they had No kids!, they may react negatively. Friends who had experienced a miscarriage, and had -- opposite of infertility -- issues!, seemed to have recovered in a short time. This left me feeling even more alone, no empathy there
.
Oh, Alone. ALONE.!
Friends, as is usual with death, mean well, but are at a loss for expressions of empathy. I can recall only one friend who visited and brought comfort. Everyone seemed more interested in "the story".
Returning to my part-time job, facing co-workers was awkward. Esp. one who was my pregnant sister-in-law. No more sharing joys and woes of our expanding bellies.
One recollection, poignant for me in that expansion of grief, was my mother's sharing her memory of her sister's experience of a still-birth just 2 days after my birth. I was the surviving child!
Over time I slowly realized, there Is value in my loss in that I can genuinely empathize with others who grieve.
Waiting for, "a brother or sister for Mike", as we included in our prayer each night, meant delay in engaging in long term goals. Knowing I may start in it, then get pregnant - may not work too well! I stayed on in my part-time job.
As Mike turned 7 y.o., I conceived! Fearful of another loss, I contained, blocked out my joy. Fears realized, at about 9 weeks my baby died.
The following year, I delivered a healthy, screaming baby boy, just 5 days before Mike's 9th birthday!
No words for our joy! We could share happiness in this Joy!
Thank you for this post. I am in my 70’s now, and my own losses compelled me to read your article. As a 40-something I was the oldest student in my elementary teaching credential cohort, but I found my niche nurturing and educating other people’s young children.
Thank you Sharon from the bottom of my heart!! At age 80, vivid memories of struggles with infertility and the loss of 2 pregnancys linger...albeit now without the pain. My 2 boys, 9 yrs. apart. mean the world to me.
My firstborn was age 4 when my stillbirth occurred at 19 weeks. Words cannot express my Devastation, I had been on Clomid (?)!
I felt unqualified to reach out to others facing infertility issues. After all, since they had No kids!, they may react negatively. Friends who had experienced a miscarriage, and had -- opposite of infertility -- issues!, seemed to have recovered in a short time. This left me feeling even more alone, no empathy there
.
Oh, Alone. ALONE.!
Friends, as is usual with death, mean well, but are at a loss for expressions of empathy. I can recall only one friend who visited and brought comfort. Everyone seemed more interested in "the story".
Returning to my part-time job, facing co-workers was awkward. Esp. one who was my pregnant sister-in-law. No more sharing joys and woes of our expanding bellies.
One recollection, poignant for me in that expansion of grief, was my mother's sharing her memory of her sister's experience of a still-birth just 2 days after my birth. I was the surviving child!
Over time I slowly realized, there Is value in my loss in that I can genuinely empathize with others who grieve.
Waiting for, "a brother or sister for Mike", as we included in our prayer each night, meant delay in engaging in long term goals. Knowing I may start in it, then get pregnant - may not work too well! I stayed on in my part-time job.
As Mike turned 7 y.o., I conceived! Fearful of another loss, I contained, blocked out my joy. Fears realized, at about 9 weeks my baby died.
The following year, I delivered a healthy, screaming baby boy, just 5 days before Mike's 9th birthday!
No words for our joy! We could share happiness in this Joy!
Mike was less enthused! Hard to share mom & dad.!
Thank you for this. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I love the sound of this book and have just ordered it on kindle. Thanks for sharing!!