Much needed <3 This mantra has stuck into my mind, and comes right on point “I try to raise my boys to have the confidence to ask a girl out, if that’s their inclination; the grace to accept no for an answer; and the responsibility to make sure that, either way, she gets home safely.” (seen in the beautiful Dense Discovery newsletter)
I have a couple friends who raised their boys to be caring, empathetic and communicative young boys. They get in middle school around other boys and get called a pussy because they do show emotion. They change. Young girls have the same impossible standards of beauty and body image to live up to. Girls have so much more to deal with. Periods, cramps, PMS and being seen as sexual objects. Being dismissed. None of this is talked about by larger society. Girls just deal with it. People are flipping out about tampons in bathrooms. Maybe boys will feel better and be better when the older men in this society disappear and younger men who are open minded become fathers. Women can't do it alone.
Thanks. Now add autism spectrum to the mix and the challenge is greater. But for all boys and teens, there are such good solutions! Get these guys offline and doing real world stuff every day. Help them join school groups, get them a gym routine, encourage their creativity, cultivate their sense of humor, give them a sense of wonder. Everybody can do some of these things, no matter where they are.
thank you for your conversation. You are so right! There is a big problem of boys being socialize to avoid feelings, and be tough. Have you read Real Boys? I can't remember the authors but it came out in the 2000's and touches on the same base problem, the socializing of boys to hypermasculity.
Thank you so much for this conversation and for featuring Boymom.
Such great info , thx for this! Ruth’s book is essential reading
Infomative
Much needed <3 This mantra has stuck into my mind, and comes right on point “I try to raise my boys to have the confidence to ask a girl out, if that’s their inclination; the grace to accept no for an answer; and the responsibility to make sure that, either way, she gets home safely.” (seen in the beautiful Dense Discovery newsletter)
I have a couple friends who raised their boys to be caring, empathetic and communicative young boys. They get in middle school around other boys and get called a pussy because they do show emotion. They change. Young girls have the same impossible standards of beauty and body image to live up to. Girls have so much more to deal with. Periods, cramps, PMS and being seen as sexual objects. Being dismissed. None of this is talked about by larger society. Girls just deal with it. People are flipping out about tampons in bathrooms. Maybe boys will feel better and be better when the older men in this society disappear and younger men who are open minded become fathers. Women can't do it alone.
Great piece! Everyone should read!
Thanks. Now add autism spectrum to the mix and the challenge is greater. But for all boys and teens, there are such good solutions! Get these guys offline and doing real world stuff every day. Help them join school groups, get them a gym routine, encourage their creativity, cultivate their sense of humor, give them a sense of wonder. Everybody can do some of these things, no matter where they are.
thank you for your conversation. You are so right! There is a big problem of boys being socialize to avoid feelings, and be tough. Have you read Real Boys? I can't remember the authors but it came out in the 2000's and touches on the same base problem, the socializing of boys to hypermasculity.