Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve been following you for years and had no clue, maybe because I don’t watch tv news. One thing I’ve started to do is what I think of as intentional support. So a colleague and I intentionally mention one another’s ideas and work in every forum, and I try to do this unofficially for every woman I work with. I used to put specialist panels together and my producer and I would go out of our way to try to find a woman - no easy thing in financial services. Def a work in progress but a change in how we approach things on the job.
Your post is soooo true, and frustrating to read and see it so clearly. I didn't realize you had not been interviewed by so many outlets. Beyond annoying. And yes, again, it takes women at the top and women putting women forward, along with male advocates. In my experience, it's been white men who are at the end of their careers and financially secure (aka no longer trying to compete for their next rung) who promote and advocate for women the most. But we women can do so much more for each other.
The idea of listening to men explain menopause is both infuriating and hilarious. As a women currently navigating this time, I was woefully unprepared for any of it, and shocked by a lot of it. I refuse to pretend this isn’t happening to me, and I don’t want the next generation of women to be surprised by this stuff. Anyways, having men be the experts on menopause or women’s health is ridiculous.
Just this month I started reading The Feminine Mystique on the train. Got feminism and patriarchy mansplained to me within the first 2 min of reading it in public.
I used to run a food brand where I created all the recipes, wrote about the food, cooked everything, and my male business partner took the photos. Over 12 years, people would constantly call him chef, send emails to our shared business account asking him to come demo, cook, whatever, with my name nowhere in sight. It was maddening. I was the only one who cooked and knew anything about food but alas, I wasn't a man.
I’ll never forget the construction boss who allowed me to soar and eventually promoted me as his partner. This was 30 yrs ago. The first thing he arranged was for me to speak at a forum of Escrow Officers to explain how real estate transactions work within the Pest Control Industry and how hidden wood destroying pests and fungi can derail the sale of a home. He totally let me run with it.
Thank you that was enlightening and although not surprising to hear. The transition from this old world paradigm into a more balanced one will have to include more women like you. It is women who naturally care, and nurture the hearts of others. Which is what this world needs. When men realize that women’s consciousness is slightly ahead of theirs and should be honoured as they move from love and not gain.
Shannon this happens in education spaces all the time--women have, by far, the vast majority of experience and skill in teaching but are often trumped by men in adminstrative or curricular roles, and in homeschooling, it’s even worse! Men speak at conferences to almost all women audiences teaching them hoe to homeschool while they travel and speak and run homeschool companies. Meanwhile their wives are actually doing the home educating. Drives me bananas! Great article.
I graduated as a Woman Studies Major from UNC in 1994. I studied all things patriarchy and it’s implications on women. And yet, my biases are so inherent, I still catch myself assuming my when a friend is mentioning a doctor that it’s man. WTF! Manthority is real, and it appalls me that it is still so inherent in our society. Thanks for not just calling it out and sharing your experience, but for giving us tangible insight into how to create the change that is long overdue.
Brilliant. These pictures make my blood boil... This is why I wrote my first memoir, because after living in Qatar I saw how clearly I'd internalized misogyny. And, side note, it calls to mind my dad telling me he'd had a rousing discussion on Middle Eastern politics with some dude at his gym, and I was like, "Huh, you never asked me about politics in the Middle East." And he said, "I didn't know you were interested." Which is why I say, if I want to hide something from my family, I'll put it in a book.
Thank you for writing this! I actually stopped listening to Tim Ferris and Huberman Lab for this very reason - no female representation. Looking forward to your book next year.
SO GOOD! Thank you to Shannon and Elise for calling this forward. I read this post and hours later I see this now viral post of a female PGA pro receiving unsolicited advice from wannabe manthority driving range golfer. https://www.instagram.com/p/C3lEFSeNqPO/?hl=en
Having started my career as a Speech Language Pathologist in the 70’s I recall my (male) boss asking me to wear a skirt to a presentation he had asked me to give to a Lions Club luncheon. He requested me (a brunette) and my colleague (a blond) to talk to “the guys” because we made a good team. It was SO frustrating and insulting. Not interested at all in what we actually had to share about our work. Grrrrr
In 1996(!), at my first professional job in downtown Pittsburgh for Ketchum PR, the worlds 4th largest PR company (odd as that may sound, our clients included steel, Heinz, SmithklineBeecham, GNC & Firstone), and on the first day, a colleague came up to me and said, “you’re lucky, they only just started letting women wear pants to the office.“
It would not have occurred to me that I wouldn’t be permitted to wear pants anywhere, so I guess I was lucky.
Yep! Just served on a jury where the women were constantly talked over and mansplained to. (The case was a man who had violently assaulted a woman half his size and detained her against her will.) There were four women (including me) and eight men on the jury. We four women (and about four of the men) would not BUDGE on a guilty verdict, and we were able to pull the others to our side. Stay strong, ladies! It's brutal out there.
I’m not really sure if it’s getting any better. I have spent over 20 years in Engineering and although I am an expert in my field I was never treated that way by any men in leadership positions. They took credit for my work and my ideas, promoted men over me, asked other men what the answers were because they didn’t believe me. And it wasn’t even just those above me, it was also my male peers that for some reason thought that because they were male it gave them an automatic jump ahead of me. I came to realize that I was smarter than the majority of them but unfortunately I didn’t have the machine behind me like they did. I’m hoping something changes for my daughters.
I'm so glad this conversation is continuing and growing. I've noticed this for awhile but thought I was the only one - the manels especially.
On my podcast Insatiable, I think I've only had three men on, and one was my therapist. HA! I remember having you on for Moms Demand Action because I couldn't imagine anyone more qualified!
But it becomes an issue because my show is smaller in part because I'm given less automatic authority than white men.
I think the opportunity for real change is when listeners, attendees, etc. start speaking up about this. Awareness is the first step. Thanks for keeping the conversation going and helping it build momentum.
Thank you! I just did a whole season on thrown for the midlife loop, re: perimenopause and menopause!
Had HRT and menopause expert Esther Blum, Dr. Stacy Simms on working out, Laura McKowen on alcohol, grief and midlife. And lots of other wonderful episodes!
You sharing about your own HRT experience - especially having to pee all the time - motivated me to investigate this sooner than later so thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve been following you for years and had no clue, maybe because I don’t watch tv news. One thing I’ve started to do is what I think of as intentional support. So a colleague and I intentionally mention one another’s ideas and work in every forum, and I try to do this unofficially for every woman I work with. I used to put specialist panels together and my producer and I would go out of our way to try to find a woman - no easy thing in financial services. Def a work in progress but a change in how we approach things on the job.
Your post is soooo true, and frustrating to read and see it so clearly. I didn't realize you had not been interviewed by so many outlets. Beyond annoying. And yes, again, it takes women at the top and women putting women forward, along with male advocates. In my experience, it's been white men who are at the end of their careers and financially secure (aka no longer trying to compete for their next rung) who promote and advocate for women the most. But we women can do so much more for each other.
The idea of listening to men explain menopause is both infuriating and hilarious. As a women currently navigating this time, I was woefully unprepared for any of it, and shocked by a lot of it. I refuse to pretend this isn’t happening to me, and I don’t want the next generation of women to be surprised by this stuff. Anyways, having men be the experts on menopause or women’s health is ridiculous.
Just this month I started reading The Feminine Mystique on the train. Got feminism and patriarchy mansplained to me within the first 2 min of reading it in public.
By a guy who had to Google The Feminine Mystique first.
I used to run a food brand where I created all the recipes, wrote about the food, cooked everything, and my male business partner took the photos. Over 12 years, people would constantly call him chef, send emails to our shared business account asking him to come demo, cook, whatever, with my name nowhere in sight. It was maddening. I was the only one who cooked and knew anything about food but alas, I wasn't a man.
I’ll never forget the construction boss who allowed me to soar and eventually promoted me as his partner. This was 30 yrs ago. The first thing he arranged was for me to speak at a forum of Escrow Officers to explain how real estate transactions work within the Pest Control Industry and how hidden wood destroying pests and fungi can derail the sale of a home. He totally let me run with it.
Thank you that was enlightening and although not surprising to hear. The transition from this old world paradigm into a more balanced one will have to include more women like you. It is women who naturally care, and nurture the hearts of others. Which is what this world needs. When men realize that women’s consciousness is slightly ahead of theirs and should be honoured as they move from love and not gain.
Shannon this happens in education spaces all the time--women have, by far, the vast majority of experience and skill in teaching but are often trumped by men in adminstrative or curricular roles, and in homeschooling, it’s even worse! Men speak at conferences to almost all women audiences teaching them hoe to homeschool while they travel and speak and run homeschool companies. Meanwhile their wives are actually doing the home educating. Drives me bananas! Great article.
I graduated as a Woman Studies Major from UNC in 1994. I studied all things patriarchy and it’s implications on women. And yet, my biases are so inherent, I still catch myself assuming my when a friend is mentioning a doctor that it’s man. WTF! Manthority is real, and it appalls me that it is still so inherent in our society. Thanks for not just calling it out and sharing your experience, but for giving us tangible insight into how to create the change that is long overdue.
Brilliant. These pictures make my blood boil... This is why I wrote my first memoir, because after living in Qatar I saw how clearly I'd internalized misogyny. And, side note, it calls to mind my dad telling me he'd had a rousing discussion on Middle Eastern politics with some dude at his gym, and I was like, "Huh, you never asked me about politics in the Middle East." And he said, "I didn't know you were interested." Which is why I say, if I want to hide something from my family, I'll put it in a book.
Thank you for writing this! I actually stopped listening to Tim Ferris and Huberman Lab for this very reason - no female representation. Looking forward to your book next year.
We’d have solved quite a few problems for society and science. The world is missing out on 50% of brain power!
SO GOOD! Thank you to Shannon and Elise for calling this forward. I read this post and hours later I see this now viral post of a female PGA pro receiving unsolicited advice from wannabe manthority driving range golfer. https://www.instagram.com/p/C3lEFSeNqPO/?hl=en
Having started my career as a Speech Language Pathologist in the 70’s I recall my (male) boss asking me to wear a skirt to a presentation he had asked me to give to a Lions Club luncheon. He requested me (a brunette) and my colleague (a blond) to talk to “the guys” because we made a good team. It was SO frustrating and insulting. Not interested at all in what we actually had to share about our work. Grrrrr
In 1996(!), at my first professional job in downtown Pittsburgh for Ketchum PR, the worlds 4th largest PR company (odd as that may sound, our clients included steel, Heinz, SmithklineBeecham, GNC & Firstone), and on the first day, a colleague came up to me and said, “you’re lucky, they only just started letting women wear pants to the office.“
It would not have occurred to me that I wouldn’t be permitted to wear pants anywhere, so I guess I was lucky.
Same. Same year, but at Fleishman-Hillard in Kansas City.
No wonder I relate so hard your perspective!
Yep! Just served on a jury where the women were constantly talked over and mansplained to. (The case was a man who had violently assaulted a woman half his size and detained her against her will.) There were four women (including me) and eight men on the jury. We four women (and about four of the men) would not BUDGE on a guilty verdict, and we were able to pull the others to our side. Stay strong, ladies! It's brutal out there.
I’m not really sure if it’s getting any better. I have spent over 20 years in Engineering and although I am an expert in my field I was never treated that way by any men in leadership positions. They took credit for my work and my ideas, promoted men over me, asked other men what the answers were because they didn’t believe me. And it wasn’t even just those above me, it was also my male peers that for some reason thought that because they were male it gave them an automatic jump ahead of me. I came to realize that I was smarter than the majority of them but unfortunately I didn’t have the machine behind me like they did. I’m hoping something changes for my daughters.
ANGRY EMOJI
I'm so glad this conversation is continuing and growing. I've noticed this for awhile but thought I was the only one - the manels especially.
On my podcast Insatiable, I think I've only had three men on, and one was my therapist. HA! I remember having you on for Moms Demand Action because I couldn't imagine anyone more qualified!
But it becomes an issue because my show is smaller in part because I'm given less automatic authority than white men.
I think the opportunity for real change is when listeners, attendees, etc. start speaking up about this. Awareness is the first step. Thanks for keeping the conversation going and helping it build momentum.
Everyone should subscribe! Drop a link!
Thank you! I just did a whole season on thrown for the midlife loop, re: perimenopause and menopause!
Had HRT and menopause expert Esther Blum, Dr. Stacy Simms on working out, Laura McKowen on alcohol, grief and midlife. And lots of other wonderful episodes!
You sharing about your own HRT experience - especially having to pee all the time - motivated me to investigate this sooner than later so thank you!
https://alishapiro.com/podcast/