💬 Thursday Thread: What are the insidious ways women are told they're not enough?

How we can overcome the feelings that we're unworthy, undeserving, unqualified or unprepared by asking ourselves, "What do I want?"

(Jeff Kravitz/Getty)

“In those moments when we don’t think we’re smart enough or pretty enough or skinny enough or successful enough or basically just not enough, I had a woman say to me, ‘Just know you will never be enough, but you can know the value of your worth if you just put down the measuring stick,’” — Demi Moore at the Golden Globes

Earlier this week, Demi Moore, 62, accepted a “Best Actress” award at the Golden Globes, and her speech blew everyone away—especially when she revealed that she had never won an award before despite a very long career. Moore said she didn’t believe she deserved to after a director called her a “popcorn actress”—someone who was entertaining but without depth. As a result, Moore said she felt she didn’t deserve to be recognized for her talent—that she wasn’t enough.

Moore’s speech got me thinking about the dozens of women I interviewed for my book, Fired Up. I realized during those conversations that instead of asking ourselves, “What do I want?” too many women default to the negative messaging—overt and subtle—that society sends us about who we should be. Whether it’s that we believe we’re unworthy or undeserving or unqualified or unprepared, the outcome is the same—we end up devaluing and deferring our desires and dreams.

Like Moore, we must keep challenging our own beliefs about not being enough, or that it’s too late to go after what we want. Now nearly 45 years into her career, Moore realizes she’s more than enough, and her determination is inspiring women everywhere to do the same.

👉 For today’s Thursday thread, here’s what I’d like to know:

• How has society made you feel like you’re not enough?

• How have you overcome that messaging?

Welcome to the Thursday Threads, a weekly chance for us to connect with one another in the comments. Join me and other readers as we navigate important discussions. And a note: a difference of opinion is always okay, being unkind to one another is not. Let’s keep these conversations respectful.

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My upcoming book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age, is now available for preorder! This book is my guide to figuring out what lights you up and will show you how to live on fire every day. Click here to preorder and get locked into some incredible bonuses.