💬 Thursday Thread: What has your experience with perimenopause and menopause been?
It's up to all of us to start talking and stop the stigma
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Anytime I write or speak out about menopause, I hear from so many of you about your experiences, your questions, and how you’re struggling to be heard by your doctors and by society at large. It’s part of the reason I shared my most recent essay: Are you there God? It’s me. I’m in menopause.
So today I thought we could get it all out into the open. Let’s talk about our experience with perimenopause and menopause. When we share our experiences it signals to the world that we deserve to have our voices heard. Scroll down to share yours…
👉 For today’s Thursday thread, here’s what I’d like to know:
Are you in perimenopause or menopause? What’s your experience been like? Are you getting the care you need?
What questions are you currently seeking answers to about perimenopause and menopause? Be sure to connect with other commenters, especially if you’re able to share advice or learnings.
Welcome to the Thursday Threads, a weekly chance for us to connect with one another in the comments. Join me and other readers as we navigate important discussions. And a note: a difference of opinion is always okay, being unkind to one another is not. Let’s keep these conversations respectful.
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Great question. I am 66 - post menopausal. I had my last period when I was 55. Thankfully, I was referred to a doctor whose practice is dedicated to women who are in various stages of menopause. His belief and I agree is that estrogen is essential to our overall well being as we age past menopause. I have used the lowest dose bio-identical patch for the last ten years and it has alleviated the hot flashes, interrupted sleep, etc. I have bone density scans every few years and my bones are like those of a women in her forties(I also have been an avid walker for years and I don't know how genetics plays into that)My mother died when I was 38 and sadly we never talked about any of this before she died.
What I want to say here is that I experienced tremendous grief early on in this process as my kids were in high school and leaving for college. The parallel process was really challenging as I went through those transitions with my boys while my body was transitioning away from my child bearing years. I felt such deep loss at the same time that I was feeling such power and strength having given birth to and raising two incredible humans.
What struck me the most was how isolated I felt. Very few women were willing to talk about the grief. I am not sure that many felt it was okay to acknowledge it. We can all talk and even joke about the night sweats and mood swings but there were not many places to mourn together, to grieve this passage and welcome the emergence of our strength and continued evolution.
I have journals filled with thoughts, emotions, grief that document this time in my life. I just wished that I had more memories of a shared experience. Though it is never too late and in the last five years I have had many more deep conversations about the beauty, magic and challenges of women aging in these times.
I also now have two daughter in laws and two granddaughters and I am determined to bring whatever wisdom, truth and honor I have to them and anyone else who asks! Bring it on.
Hope this helps.
I am a 64 year old woman on the other side and have been for quite sometime. I went through the varying symptoms typical of menopause. Wanted to leave some pearls of wisdom here....I used to have panic attacks when in the car driving or in a crowded space. It made me crazy and I felt out of control. My Doctor said I had anxiety and told me to meditate and do yoga... It wasn't until I went to an orthopedic surgeon due to knee pain and he suggested I go on hormones and come back in 3-4 months, if I still had the pain. He claimed our generation was the first to exercise and be fit well into our 50's. After going on hormones, within a couple of months my knee pain and panic attacks went away. Over the years it has taken a few adjustments to dial in my dose. I am a very active person (ski, bike, hike, pilates, golf, daily walks, ...) with no pain and zero panic attacks. I now have a functional medicine doctor and have seen him for 8 years, he would have prescribed hormones to me at that time too. Seek a doctor that looks for the root cause of an issue.