Great question. I am 66 - post menopausal. I had my last period when I was 55. Thankfully, I was referred to a doctor whose practice is dedicated to women who are in various stages of menopause. His belief and I agree is that estrogen is essential to our overall well being as we age past menopause. I have used the lowest dose bio-identical patch for the last ten years and it has alleviated the hot flashes, interrupted sleep, etc. I have bone density scans every few years and my bones are like those of a women in her forties(I also have been an avid walker for years and I don't know how genetics plays into that)My mother died when I was 38 and sadly we never talked about any of this before she died.
What I want to say here is that I experienced tremendous grief early on in this process as my kids were in high school and leaving for college. The parallel process was really challenging as I went through those transitions with my boys while my body was transitioning away from my child bearing years. I felt such deep loss at the same time that I was feeling such power and strength having given birth to and raising two incredible humans.
What struck me the most was how isolated I felt. Very few women were willing to talk about the grief. I am not sure that many felt it was okay to acknowledge it. We can all talk and even joke about the night sweats and mood swings but there were not many places to mourn together, to grieve this passage and welcome the emergence of our strength and continued evolution.
I have journals filled with thoughts, emotions, grief that document this time in my life. I just wished that I had more memories of a shared experience. Though it is never too late and in the last five years I have had many more deep conversations about the beauty, magic and challenges of women aging in these times.
I also now have two daughter in laws and two granddaughters and I am determined to bring whatever wisdom, truth and honor I have to them and anyone else who asks! Bring it on.
I just became an empty nester and can TOTALLY relate to what you said about the grief, while going through these physical & hormonal changes and trying to figure out a "new" type of relationship with my spouse without kids around. Thanks for sharing!
I am a 64 year old woman on the other side and have been for quite sometime. I went through the varying symptoms typical of menopause. Wanted to leave some pearls of wisdom here....I used to have panic attacks when in the car driving or in a crowded space. It made me crazy and I felt out of control. My Doctor said I had anxiety and told me to meditate and do yoga... It wasn't until I went to an orthopedic surgeon due to knee pain and he suggested I go on hormones and come back in 3-4 months, if I still had the pain. He claimed our generation was the first to exercise and be fit well into our 50's. After going on hormones, within a couple of months my knee pain and panic attacks went away. Over the years it has taken a few adjustments to dial in my dose. I am a very active person (ski, bike, hike, pilates, golf, daily walks, ...) with no pain and zero panic attacks. I now have a functional medicine doctor and have seen him for 8 years, he would have prescribed hormones to me at that time too. Seek a doctor that looks for the root cause of an issue.
Thank you so much for describing this- I am getting new panic attacks in crowds too, I am 49 and periods are very rare. I have found progesterone very helpful for sleep and also use an over-the-counter estriol cream, (it gets rid of hot flashes, usually) but I wonder if I need something stronger.
I would suggest talking to your doctor. Not sure if it is advisable to use progesterone without taking/using estrogen. Also....L Theanine has been a game changer in quieting my mind and soul. I take it daily.
The menopause experience was horrible- night sweats, daytime hot flashes, weight gain, anxiety, hair loss, crepey skin, anger, depression… post menopause has been a bit better although I’m sure I’d benefit from some supports. I wake during the night, always look tired, and have no libido. I have frequent uti symptoms and constipation. I’m trying dietary changes and exercise. I’m also on high bp meds as of this past month. But I haven’t killed anyone, and I still smile. Sometimes;)
I’m post menopausal and feel good. In perimenopause I had several years of elevated testosterone. It was hard to get doctors to take that seriously because the complaints don’t sound like complaints; “I have too much energy and too much libido” One female gynecologist actually laughed until tears rolled down her face but then apologized and said “I’m sorry but no one ever, ever, EVER comes in with these complaints. It’s always the opposite”. Finally I got with an endocrinologist who helped me understand the hormones. He said this is normal for you. Right now you’re flying along like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (I swear he said this) but you might start to sputter and I just want to help you have a safe and smooth landing. He also helped me correct a potentially devastating prolactin imbalance. I have never had trouble sleeping, but for a time I would have one hot flash in the middle of the night and then go back to sleep. Since I could never take any hormone based birth control and I had PMS and PCOS, I was thrilled to stop ovulating. It was psychologically a little challenging here and there but not bad for me. I never expected my body or appearance to stay the same. I forget my age all the time - I just feel fine and healthy now, without the hassle of the monthly rollercoaster.
I am in menopause. Honestly I didn’t realize how bad I felt until I started HRT. I had hot flashes and weight gain and brain fog and so on but I was told, as you were, Shannon, that I should only consider HRT if it was really bad. Well what is “really bad?” It was my family practice nurse practitioner who nudged me to consider HRT and thank goodness she did because it’s been a game changer. I feel like myself again. Not only did it resolve many of my obvious symptoms but it also addressed underlying issues I hadn’t even fully recognized I was suffering from. The hormones paired with changes in my diet (increased fiber, decreased added sugars) were life changing. I firmly believe all women should consider HRT. And I so appreciate women like you bringing the conversation to the forefront.
I started menopause in my late 40’s, which of my male doctor said was not possible. I immediately asked why baseline blood tests measuring hormone levels weren’t being routinely performed in order to support any changes patients might be reporting in future sessions. I continued nagging this doctor for several more years, who would not agree with my suggestion. I did switch do a female doctor, who loved the suggestion, and actually listened to my real symptoms. I am not suggesting only female doctors will support menopause concerns, but those early blood tests are still not happening before symptoms begin. Why not?
My female Gyn advised me early hormonal blood tests wouldn't pick up any changes any way. An experienced Gyn will know based on symptoms (& the tact that you are telling them you don't feel like yourself) that it's perimenopause. I just had my 1st visit last month & I finally feel sane!
I had excruciating monthly 3-day migraines before menopause 22 years ago. I no longer have migraines. Menopause has had more positive than negative effects on my quality of life.
I was also a headache person from puberty to menopause. In my 40’s I was given a vitamin therapy suggestion that helped tremendously. It was 500 mg magnesium and 200 mg riboflavin in the am and another 200 mg riboflavin in the pm. Not trying to sell anything - I just always put it out there because it was so good. It was head of neurology at Tulane that suggested it.
Did your headaches continue into menopause until the vitamin therapy? I'm starting to get terrible headaches again & I know I need to see a neurologist, just curious.
No - they didn’t! I was in perimenopause having a lot of hormonal fluctuations when I started taking them. The vitamin therapy gave me really good control. If I forgot to take it and felt a headache coming on, I could take it right away and avoid the headache. Since I became post menopausal the headaches have stopped on their own. I still keep the vitamins on hand just in case.
I'm also on magnesium, vitamin B, and iron for my migraines. I do think it's helped make them less intense and painful. They're not gone entirely, but it's a win. As I've headed into perimenopause, it feels like my migraines got worse and then are swinging the other way. I'm hopeful to see the leave entirely with Menopause!
Perimenopausal for a couple of years. I found out there’s perimenopause while already experiencing symptoms (fatigue, sleeplessness, anxiety…). Made me so angry I created the first platform for peri and menopause in my country where all women can get up to date information from experts 💪🏻
I have night sweats, which have not been resolved. I had about a year of deep depressive drops, which has been resolved. I was so relieved to have the latter managed that I just live with the former.
Have you adjusted your dosage? I had those depressive bouts/feelings of dread daily, which led me to finally go back to my gyno and I started HRT last June, it has been a miracle!
I tried changing my birth control but that led to heavy bleeding and cramps. Ultimately I went from 10mg to 20mg of Lexapro and it has been a life saver. I was having suicidal ideations that I could luckily tell were highly abnormal. It was scary.
When I turned 46 I started to realize my sever irritability/anger, brain fog and zero libido was related to peri-menopause. As well as muscle loss (I’ve been lifting weights for 25 years straight, and lost 6 pounds of muscle). My doc put me on HRT and she told me that most doctors are not trained in Peri/menopause, and she had to get a special certification. I had to switch doctors because of insurance and the new practice has a NP who specializes in HRT. HRT has change my life. I sleep solid, my mood swings are all but gone and I gained 10 pounds (wanted weight). I also have PMDD and that has improved by about 90% with HRT
I am a 62 year old 15 year breast cancer survivor and I cannot take oral estrogen. I have been in menopause for 9 years. For about 7 years I had to use vaginal estradiol cream at least twice a week to prevent UTI's. This treatment was effective for preventing UTI's, but not effective for vaginal dryness, and it is messy, requiring cleaning of the applicator and planning around sex. About 9 months ago I saw a news story about Estring, which is a prescription estrogen ring that a woman places in her vagina only once every 90 days. The ring is flexible silicone and does not interfere with sexual intercourse. It is SO MUCH more convenient than the messy estradiol cream. Cancer survivors and others who cannot use systemic estrogen still need to discuss the risks with their doctor as it does produce a continuous micro dose of estrogen vs. the intermittent dosing of the cream. However, I think because of that continuous release my results have been fantastic. No UTI's and much more lubrication. It is pricey, but I was able to get a manufacturer's coupon bringing the cost to $50/month($150 per ring that lasts 90 days). I am angry about the cost (how much is Viagra???) and also that no health care provider had ever mentioned it to me. I have been trying to get the word out so that other women can look into this extremely effective and convenient option for vaginal estrogen.
My heart goes out to all of the women who have posted before me. The lack of support and understanding from the male dominated medical community continues to astound me..
Ok, I’ve had night sweats for 13 years and not one doc ever mentioned that I might have been in peri menopause. I’m 54 now, and went on HRT late last year and finally my period stopped recently, yay. The last 1.5 yrs I’ve noticed on/off brain fog, random days of sadness, less energy, and at one point over 2 months my weight went up 15 pounds! I’m talking vitamin b6 for energy, magnesium pills for muscle stiffness, estrogen gel and progesterone pills. I tried testosterone initially and that helped me gain muscle, but my levels were alarmingly off. Then I learned my meds were made for men and I shifted to a menopause medical group for care (Midi) and I feel heard and my plan feels better. Still figuring it out TBH.
When I started perimenopause in my early 40's, I was repeatedly told by everyone I tried to talk with that I was much too young and surely it must be something else. I was diagnosed with anxiety. I had panic attacks, which I'm sure now were often triggered by the hot flashes I was told I was too young to be having. People teased me in public when I was flushed and overheated that "you're going to have cold flashes when you get to menopause." I was in full menopause by age 51. I haven't had sex in years despite being happily married. I feel guilty for being relieved my husband has had ED for the last couple of years so that our sexual dysfunction is finally not all my fault. I'm now 59 and recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. So, new challenges ahead.
Last month was my official 12 months without a period, so officially(?) in menopause. With Peri, it was 4 or so migraines a month (my mom experienced the same), low libido, horrible sleep and brain fog like nobody's business. Oh! and the itchy ears! I've managed my migraines with meds and I take a gummy each night for sleep. Last year the hot flashes got really bad and felt like my libido is non-existent. I started estrogen and progesterone last summer and hot flashes are gone, brain fog is lifting but libido is still not there. I do have an appointment with my doc next week and want to ask about adding testosterone. I've read some great books on menopause and am part of an online community called Re-Spin (Halle Berry's company) that have been great help. I want to also thank Shannon for keeping the conversation front and center!!
I've had night sweats off and on since probably my mid-to-late thirties, but so far, no other reliable symptoms, and I'm approaching my mid-forties now. My husband thinks I have "crazy mood swings" around my cycle. I think he's starting crap out of subconscious anticipation. ;) But seriously, I have no idea what to expect through this whole season. No female in my family has ever gone through natural menopause. They've all had hysterectomies and they never talk about it. My mother was still menstruating into her sixties. When is this going to end?!
Problems sleeping, and vaginal dryness and loss of vaginal stretch. I’m pissed that when I first complained about discomfort during sex my doctors offered nothing. It was as if they felt it was not an important issue.
Great question. I am 66 - post menopausal. I had my last period when I was 55. Thankfully, I was referred to a doctor whose practice is dedicated to women who are in various stages of menopause. His belief and I agree is that estrogen is essential to our overall well being as we age past menopause. I have used the lowest dose bio-identical patch for the last ten years and it has alleviated the hot flashes, interrupted sleep, etc. I have bone density scans every few years and my bones are like those of a women in her forties(I also have been an avid walker for years and I don't know how genetics plays into that)My mother died when I was 38 and sadly we never talked about any of this before she died.
What I want to say here is that I experienced tremendous grief early on in this process as my kids were in high school and leaving for college. The parallel process was really challenging as I went through those transitions with my boys while my body was transitioning away from my child bearing years. I felt such deep loss at the same time that I was feeling such power and strength having given birth to and raising two incredible humans.
What struck me the most was how isolated I felt. Very few women were willing to talk about the grief. I am not sure that many felt it was okay to acknowledge it. We can all talk and even joke about the night sweats and mood swings but there were not many places to mourn together, to grieve this passage and welcome the emergence of our strength and continued evolution.
I have journals filled with thoughts, emotions, grief that document this time in my life. I just wished that I had more memories of a shared experience. Though it is never too late and in the last five years I have had many more deep conversations about the beauty, magic and challenges of women aging in these times.
I also now have two daughter in laws and two granddaughters and I am determined to bring whatever wisdom, truth and honor I have to them and anyone else who asks! Bring it on.
Hope this helps.
I am so, so glad that you're having these conversations now, Nan. They're so important.
I just became an empty nester and can TOTALLY relate to what you said about the grief, while going through these physical & hormonal changes and trying to figure out a "new" type of relationship with my spouse without kids around. Thanks for sharing!
My mom died early too and so there's no one to ask "at what age did you...?"
I am a 64 year old woman on the other side and have been for quite sometime. I went through the varying symptoms typical of menopause. Wanted to leave some pearls of wisdom here....I used to have panic attacks when in the car driving or in a crowded space. It made me crazy and I felt out of control. My Doctor said I had anxiety and told me to meditate and do yoga... It wasn't until I went to an orthopedic surgeon due to knee pain and he suggested I go on hormones and come back in 3-4 months, if I still had the pain. He claimed our generation was the first to exercise and be fit well into our 50's. After going on hormones, within a couple of months my knee pain and panic attacks went away. Over the years it has taken a few adjustments to dial in my dose. I am a very active person (ski, bike, hike, pilates, golf, daily walks, ...) with no pain and zero panic attacks. I now have a functional medicine doctor and have seen him for 8 years, he would have prescribed hormones to me at that time too. Seek a doctor that looks for the root cause of an issue.
Thank you for this!
Thank you so much for describing this- I am getting new panic attacks in crowds too, I am 49 and periods are very rare. I have found progesterone very helpful for sleep and also use an over-the-counter estriol cream, (it gets rid of hot flashes, usually) but I wonder if I need something stronger.
I would suggest talking to your doctor. Not sure if it is advisable to use progesterone without taking/using estrogen. Also....L Theanine has been a game changer in quieting my mind and soul. I take it daily.
I have had similar responses to HRT
The menopause experience was horrible- night sweats, daytime hot flashes, weight gain, anxiety, hair loss, crepey skin, anger, depression… post menopause has been a bit better although I’m sure I’d benefit from some supports. I wake during the night, always look tired, and have no libido. I have frequent uti symptoms and constipation. I’m trying dietary changes and exercise. I’m also on high bp meds as of this past month. But I haven’t killed anyone, and I still smile. Sometimes;)
Sometimes that's the best we can do, right? :)
I’m post menopausal and feel good. In perimenopause I had several years of elevated testosterone. It was hard to get doctors to take that seriously because the complaints don’t sound like complaints; “I have too much energy and too much libido” One female gynecologist actually laughed until tears rolled down her face but then apologized and said “I’m sorry but no one ever, ever, EVER comes in with these complaints. It’s always the opposite”. Finally I got with an endocrinologist who helped me understand the hormones. He said this is normal for you. Right now you’re flying along like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (I swear he said this) but you might start to sputter and I just want to help you have a safe and smooth landing. He also helped me correct a potentially devastating prolactin imbalance. I have never had trouble sleeping, but for a time I would have one hot flash in the middle of the night and then go back to sleep. Since I could never take any hormone based birth control and I had PMS and PCOS, I was thrilled to stop ovulating. It was psychologically a little challenging here and there but not bad for me. I never expected my body or appearance to stay the same. I forget my age all the time - I just feel fine and healthy now, without the hassle of the monthly rollercoaster.
I'm so glad that you're feeling good post-menopause!
I am in menopause. Honestly I didn’t realize how bad I felt until I started HRT. I had hot flashes and weight gain and brain fog and so on but I was told, as you were, Shannon, that I should only consider HRT if it was really bad. Well what is “really bad?” It was my family practice nurse practitioner who nudged me to consider HRT and thank goodness she did because it’s been a game changer. I feel like myself again. Not only did it resolve many of my obvious symptoms but it also addressed underlying issues I hadn’t even fully recognized I was suffering from. The hormones paired with changes in my diet (increased fiber, decreased added sugars) were life changing. I firmly believe all women should consider HRT. And I so appreciate women like you bringing the conversation to the forefront.
Thank you for sharing, Stephanie!
I started menopause in my late 40’s, which of my male doctor said was not possible. I immediately asked why baseline blood tests measuring hormone levels weren’t being routinely performed in order to support any changes patients might be reporting in future sessions. I continued nagging this doctor for several more years, who would not agree with my suggestion. I did switch do a female doctor, who loved the suggestion, and actually listened to my real symptoms. I am not suggesting only female doctors will support menopause concerns, but those early blood tests are still not happening before symptoms begin. Why not?
My female Gyn advised me early hormonal blood tests wouldn't pick up any changes any way. An experienced Gyn will know based on symptoms (& the tact that you are telling them you don't feel like yourself) that it's perimenopause. I just had my 1st visit last month & I finally feel sane!
I had excruciating monthly 3-day migraines before menopause 22 years ago. I no longer have migraines. Menopause has had more positive than negative effects on my quality of life.
I was also a headache person from puberty to menopause. In my 40’s I was given a vitamin therapy suggestion that helped tremendously. It was 500 mg magnesium and 200 mg riboflavin in the am and another 200 mg riboflavin in the pm. Not trying to sell anything - I just always put it out there because it was so good. It was head of neurology at Tulane that suggested it.
Did your headaches continue into menopause until the vitamin therapy? I'm starting to get terrible headaches again & I know I need to see a neurologist, just curious.
No - they didn’t! I was in perimenopause having a lot of hormonal fluctuations when I started taking them. The vitamin therapy gave me really good control. If I forgot to take it and felt a headache coming on, I could take it right away and avoid the headache. Since I became post menopausal the headaches have stopped on their own. I still keep the vitamins on hand just in case.
I'm also on magnesium, vitamin B, and iron for my migraines. I do think it's helped make them less intense and painful. They're not gone entirely, but it's a win. As I've headed into perimenopause, it feels like my migraines got worse and then are swinging the other way. I'm hopeful to see the leave entirely with Menopause!
Perimenopausal for a couple of years. I found out there’s perimenopause while already experiencing symptoms (fatigue, sleeplessness, anxiety…). Made me so angry I created the first platform for peri and menopause in my country where all women can get up to date information from experts 💪🏻
Amazing!!
I have night sweats, which have not been resolved. I had about a year of deep depressive drops, which has been resolved. I was so relieved to have the latter managed that I just live with the former.
Have you adjusted your dosage? I had those depressive bouts/feelings of dread daily, which led me to finally go back to my gyno and I started HRT last June, it has been a miracle!
I tried changing my birth control but that led to heavy bleeding and cramps. Ultimately I went from 10mg to 20mg of Lexapro and it has been a life saver. I was having suicidal ideations that I could luckily tell were highly abnormal. It was scary.
When I turned 46 I started to realize my sever irritability/anger, brain fog and zero libido was related to peri-menopause. As well as muscle loss (I’ve been lifting weights for 25 years straight, and lost 6 pounds of muscle). My doc put me on HRT and she told me that most doctors are not trained in Peri/menopause, and she had to get a special certification. I had to switch doctors because of insurance and the new practice has a NP who specializes in HRT. HRT has change my life. I sleep solid, my mood swings are all but gone and I gained 10 pounds (wanted weight). I also have PMDD and that has improved by about 90% with HRT
I'm so glad you've had such a positive experience!
I am a 62 year old 15 year breast cancer survivor and I cannot take oral estrogen. I have been in menopause for 9 years. For about 7 years I had to use vaginal estradiol cream at least twice a week to prevent UTI's. This treatment was effective for preventing UTI's, but not effective for vaginal dryness, and it is messy, requiring cleaning of the applicator and planning around sex. About 9 months ago I saw a news story about Estring, which is a prescription estrogen ring that a woman places in her vagina only once every 90 days. The ring is flexible silicone and does not interfere with sexual intercourse. It is SO MUCH more convenient than the messy estradiol cream. Cancer survivors and others who cannot use systemic estrogen still need to discuss the risks with their doctor as it does produce a continuous micro dose of estrogen vs. the intermittent dosing of the cream. However, I think because of that continuous release my results have been fantastic. No UTI's and much more lubrication. It is pricey, but I was able to get a manufacturer's coupon bringing the cost to $50/month($150 per ring that lasts 90 days). I am angry about the cost (how much is Viagra???) and also that no health care provider had ever mentioned it to me. I have been trying to get the word out so that other women can look into this extremely effective and convenient option for vaginal estrogen.
Thank you for sharing about this!!
My heart goes out to all of the women who have posted before me. The lack of support and understanding from the male dominated medical community continues to astound me..
Ok, I’ve had night sweats for 13 years and not one doc ever mentioned that I might have been in peri menopause. I’m 54 now, and went on HRT late last year and finally my period stopped recently, yay. The last 1.5 yrs I’ve noticed on/off brain fog, random days of sadness, less energy, and at one point over 2 months my weight went up 15 pounds! I’m talking vitamin b6 for energy, magnesium pills for muscle stiffness, estrogen gel and progesterone pills. I tried testosterone initially and that helped me gain muscle, but my levels were alarmingly off. Then I learned my meds were made for men and I shifted to a menopause medical group for care (Midi) and I feel heard and my plan feels better. Still figuring it out TBH.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Jen!
When I started perimenopause in my early 40's, I was repeatedly told by everyone I tried to talk with that I was much too young and surely it must be something else. I was diagnosed with anxiety. I had panic attacks, which I'm sure now were often triggered by the hot flashes I was told I was too young to be having. People teased me in public when I was flushed and overheated that "you're going to have cold flashes when you get to menopause." I was in full menopause by age 51. I haven't had sex in years despite being happily married. I feel guilty for being relieved my husband has had ED for the last couple of years so that our sexual dysfunction is finally not all my fault. I'm now 59 and recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. So, new challenges ahead.
Hang in there, Kim! And I'm sorry that you weren't believed.
Last month was my official 12 months without a period, so officially(?) in menopause. With Peri, it was 4 or so migraines a month (my mom experienced the same), low libido, horrible sleep and brain fog like nobody's business. Oh! and the itchy ears! I've managed my migraines with meds and I take a gummy each night for sleep. Last year the hot flashes got really bad and felt like my libido is non-existent. I started estrogen and progesterone last summer and hot flashes are gone, brain fog is lifting but libido is still not there. I do have an appointment with my doc next week and want to ask about adding testosterone. I've read some great books on menopause and am part of an online community called Re-Spin (Halle Berry's company) that have been great help. I want to also thank Shannon for keeping the conversation front and center!!
Thank you so much Jenn!
I've had night sweats off and on since probably my mid-to-late thirties, but so far, no other reliable symptoms, and I'm approaching my mid-forties now. My husband thinks I have "crazy mood swings" around my cycle. I think he's starting crap out of subconscious anticipation. ;) But seriously, I have no idea what to expect through this whole season. No female in my family has ever gone through natural menopause. They've all had hysterectomies and they never talk about it. My mother was still menstruating into her sixties. When is this going to end?!
I hope seeing other women here in the comments share about their experiences will help you know more of what to expect.
Problems sleeping, and vaginal dryness and loss of vaginal stretch. I’m pissed that when I first complained about discomfort during sex my doctors offered nothing. It was as if they felt it was not an important issue.
That's so often the case for women. :(