As an 18-year-old, I underwent an endometrial biopsy with a local anesthetic that wore off while a resident tried 4X to get a sample. Eventually, he left to call the attending GYN out of surgery, and a nurse sat with me for more than 20 min while my legs shook uncontrollably. When the 70+ yr old GYN entered the room, hurriedly and annoyed, the nurse quickly loaded a syringe with more anesthetic. He said, "No need. This will only take a minute. If she's made it this far, she'll be fine." Women's Health is particularly cruel for women. It's almost as if living through our monthly pain and bleeding gives the false impression that we should be able to live through all other sources of pain and blood.
I was so traumatised by this experience of having it fitted. I’d lost two babies in late pregnancy /full term previously. On top of the physical pain and discomfort the medics made me detail everything that had happened which wasn’t necessary and very triggering. It was so distressing and I wished I hadn’t got it.
I’m also amazed they don’t offer anaesthetic for smear tests: I find them so uncomfortable and painful that I haven’t had one for ten years, more distressing after birth trauma. I told my doctor I’m making this choice, I only think now that it would be a reasonable thing to do for some women who find it difficult to have aesthetic.
It’s like mysogyny is still baked into medical system globally.
My daughter died last year. Before she left the hospital for the last time they changed the medication that she had been on for pain the previous weeks. She asked that they keep that one but was refused since it would be "easier" to use the fentanyl patches instead. As her pain increased the amount of fentanyl was increased until the morning of the day she died. That morning when I asked how much pain she was in, a daily task, she told me "3-4" but she was shaking with pain. She had gotten so used to it. The folks from hospice came that afternoon with the medication she had requested before leaving the hospital. The relief was immediate and visible. The shaking stopped and she relaxed. She died later that night.
To me, as her father and caretaker, they kept her in so much pain she couldn't even die.
Thanks Shannon. Keep burning.
PS I love your column but please have someone read it, not just spell check. bed, not bad, the, not he.
I, too, had a very unpleasant Mirena insertion pre-pregnancy. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I almost threw up. It's screwed up. I've also had doctors brush me off when I tell them I'm insensitive to local anesthesia and I need more than the average person in order not to feel pain, including during a hole punch biopsy. The fuckers literally tried to hole punch my armpit without sufficient anesthesia, then said "oh I guess you weren't kidding" when I proved I could still feel the instrument cutting into me.
Good lord! 🤯 This is horrifying!! but, sadly, believable. I live in Switzerland (where I am sure plenty of this attitude exists: it’s a pretty backwards country regarding women) and have ALWAYS been fortunate enough to have doctors who take me seriously and do not hesitate to discuss pain management proactively.
Wherever you are in the world, keep speaking up! 🙏🏻
It took me 15 years to get a diagnosis that explained the pain i had been living with. A Dr literally said it was all in my head. Another one told me to snap out of it. I won’t go to a white male doctor anymore. Or white woman. They were just as bad. And I’m a white woman. Thank you for speaking up for us.
Another women’s health issue we need to talk about. Some of the procedures are barbaric, and we’re expected to do without pain meds. Maybe you’ll get a single Valium, but probably not.
I have had chest pains a number of times, and more often than not, I just ride it out. The couple of times I have gone to the hospital, they gave me a cursory exam, told me I wasn’t having a heart attack, and sent me home with a pat on the head. “Come back if it happens again,” they say, and I don’t, because at least if I stay home I can get self-care, since I’m unlikely to get any medical care.
The inhumane way health “care” is practiced needs a huge slapback. I recall a procedure done to me by a 20-something male doctor that was so painful I nearly fainted. He had absolutely no point of reference and no experience to assist his empathy. Get loud, ladies.
I had to have a clogged milk duct in my breast aspirated and the Gynecologist told me it wouldn’t be painful. He only used a numbing gel but didn’t wait for the numbing to set in. The procedure was incredibly painful and as tears were rolling down my h cheeks, the doctor said “You must have a low tolerance for pain.” Ironically I actually had had three of my four babies with no pain medication, and this procedure for me was far more painful. A horrible experience all the way around. I wonder if men had to have a lump in their scrotums aspirated if they would be told they had a low tolerance for pain if it was painful? Or if they would be offered real pain medicine beforehand.
I am so grateful for all of the knowledge women are sharing with each other. Part of the reason I never got an IUD is because I knew it would hurt badly. I have pain during Pap smears, and was told by more than one doctor "there are no nerves in the cervix", which we know is bullshit. I knew there was absolutely no way I could be conscious and unmedicated and endure it. No doctor I went to had that option available. And I refused, because it's barbaric.
A friend of mine through tears told me the story of getting an endometrial biopsy with no pain meds or sedation. She couldn't get through it, and started violently shaking and vomiting so they couldn't finish and they were annoyed at HER. She managed to finally convince someone to do it and provide sedation.
This is astonishing, though I suppose it shouldn’t be, living in a male-centric, male-dominated world. What a society we men have built. It’s shameful and I’m sorry.
As an 18-year-old, I underwent an endometrial biopsy with a local anesthetic that wore off while a resident tried 4X to get a sample. Eventually, he left to call the attending GYN out of surgery, and a nurse sat with me for more than 20 min while my legs shook uncontrollably. When the 70+ yr old GYN entered the room, hurriedly and annoyed, the nurse quickly loaded a syringe with more anesthetic. He said, "No need. This will only take a minute. If she's made it this far, she'll be fine." Women's Health is particularly cruel for women. It's almost as if living through our monthly pain and bleeding gives the false impression that we should be able to live through all other sources of pain and blood.
I had one of those w/o anesthesia of any kind when I was miscarrying. You feel it in your throat. It’s barbaric
Thanks to my wife, I was made aware of how many OBGYN doctors are men, who can’t possibly understand what women experience, and often don’t care.
Thanks for shining a light on this topic.
I was so traumatised by this experience of having it fitted. I’d lost two babies in late pregnancy /full term previously. On top of the physical pain and discomfort the medics made me detail everything that had happened which wasn’t necessary and very triggering. It was so distressing and I wished I hadn’t got it.
I’m also amazed they don’t offer anaesthetic for smear tests: I find them so uncomfortable and painful that I haven’t had one for ten years, more distressing after birth trauma. I told my doctor I’m making this choice, I only think now that it would be a reasonable thing to do for some women who find it difficult to have aesthetic.
It’s like mysogyny is still baked into medical system globally.
Thanks for your insightful post!
My daughter died last year. Before she left the hospital for the last time they changed the medication that she had been on for pain the previous weeks. She asked that they keep that one but was refused since it would be "easier" to use the fentanyl patches instead. As her pain increased the amount of fentanyl was increased until the morning of the day she died. That morning when I asked how much pain she was in, a daily task, she told me "3-4" but she was shaking with pain. She had gotten so used to it. The folks from hospice came that afternoon with the medication she had requested before leaving the hospital. The relief was immediate and visible. The shaking stopped and she relaxed. She died later that night.
To me, as her father and caretaker, they kept her in so much pain she couldn't even die.
Thanks Shannon. Keep burning.
PS I love your column but please have someone read it, not just spell check. bed, not bad, the, not he.
I, too, had a very unpleasant Mirena insertion pre-pregnancy. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I almost threw up. It's screwed up. I've also had doctors brush me off when I tell them I'm insensitive to local anesthesia and I need more than the average person in order not to feel pain, including during a hole punch biopsy. The fuckers literally tried to hole punch my armpit without sufficient anesthesia, then said "oh I guess you weren't kidding" when I proved I could still feel the instrument cutting into me.
Unbelievable! 😧
Good lord! 🤯 This is horrifying!! but, sadly, believable. I live in Switzerland (where I am sure plenty of this attitude exists: it’s a pretty backwards country regarding women) and have ALWAYS been fortunate enough to have doctors who take me seriously and do not hesitate to discuss pain management proactively.
Wherever you are in the world, keep speaking up! 🙏🏻
It took me 15 years to get a diagnosis that explained the pain i had been living with. A Dr literally said it was all in my head. Another one told me to snap out of it. I won’t go to a white male doctor anymore. Or white woman. They were just as bad. And I’m a white woman. Thank you for speaking up for us.
Another women’s health issue we need to talk about. Some of the procedures are barbaric, and we’re expected to do without pain meds. Maybe you’ll get a single Valium, but probably not.
Thank you! Keep talking about it!
I have had chest pains a number of times, and more often than not, I just ride it out. The couple of times I have gone to the hospital, they gave me a cursory exam, told me I wasn’t having a heart attack, and sent me home with a pat on the head. “Come back if it happens again,” they say, and I don’t, because at least if I stay home I can get self-care, since I’m unlikely to get any medical care.
This makes me so mad.
The inhumane way health “care” is practiced needs a huge slapback. I recall a procedure done to me by a 20-something male doctor that was so painful I nearly fainted. He had absolutely no point of reference and no experience to assist his empathy. Get loud, ladies.
I had to have a clogged milk duct in my breast aspirated and the Gynecologist told me it wouldn’t be painful. He only used a numbing gel but didn’t wait for the numbing to set in. The procedure was incredibly painful and as tears were rolling down my h cheeks, the doctor said “You must have a low tolerance for pain.” Ironically I actually had had three of my four babies with no pain medication, and this procedure for me was far more painful. A horrible experience all the way around. I wonder if men had to have a lump in their scrotums aspirated if they would be told they had a low tolerance for pain if it was painful? Or if they would be offered real pain medicine beforehand.
I am so grateful for all of the knowledge women are sharing with each other. Part of the reason I never got an IUD is because I knew it would hurt badly. I have pain during Pap smears, and was told by more than one doctor "there are no nerves in the cervix", which we know is bullshit. I knew there was absolutely no way I could be conscious and unmedicated and endure it. No doctor I went to had that option available. And I refused, because it's barbaric.
A friend of mine through tears told me the story of getting an endometrial biopsy with no pain meds or sedation. She couldn't get through it, and started violently shaking and vomiting so they couldn't finish and they were annoyed at HER. She managed to finally convince someone to do it and provide sedation.
What the actual fuck.
This is astonishing, though I suppose it shouldn’t be, living in a male-centric, male-dominated world. What a society we men have built. It’s shameful and I’m sorry.