This rings so true for me -- the process of untangling the guilt about living the way I want (despite the possible impact on others) is I'm working through daily right now. If I have deathbed regrets, they'll likely be the times I unwittingly taught my kids to put themselves last by modeling that very behavior. A real conundrum.
My therapist used to use the deathbed technique with me every now and then. It's such a powerful one! I think my deathbed regret would probably be that I wish I could have taught myself how to live more often in a state of presence and joy than fear and anxiety. Especially when it came to things that I couldn't control. I'm still working on it, but I've definitely made strides and am more often able to live in the present. Always a work in progress!
My deathbed regret would be not seeing the Pyramids of Giza. I say "would be" because it won't be. I don't yet know when or how, but I am GOING. On my deathbed I will know what the sand sounds and smells like between the paws of the Sphinx.
My deathbed regret is not that I pursued career goals, but that I was not fully present at times my children needed me. I didn't face the challenge of cellphones, but there's always distractions.
My children, (all grown), and my grandchildren all know what I do in my political work and they all stand behind me and encourage I feel like sometimes I am not doing more than I can, especially now with so much hate and the wat that this Administration is coming for the LGBTQ+ community and all minorities. WIth having three different members of the LGBTQ+ community in my family, including myself, I promised my two grandchildren that I would do everything to protect them and help keep the laws in place that protect them and get more passed. I fear that I won't be able to with Trump in office. With my health right now I fear that if my time comes sooner than I would like I would let my family down. I could not protect them. That would be the one thing I would regret.
It might be not mastering a language other than my native tongue, not ever managing to hit a tennis ball….is it acceptance of my limitations or complacency?
I've gotten to the point in my growth and healing journey that I feel really good about showing up authentically and how I live my life. I'm able to keep my core values central to my actions in the world (most of the time) and I believe it's beneficial to the people in my life to do so. Just being able to say that makes me so proud of the internal work I've done!
And, because two things can be true at the same time, I do worry that my deathbed regret will be how my choices have affected my child. I already regret that I didn't leave my husband soon enough to protect my child from years of psychological and emotional abuse. (Myself too, but of course I'm more concerned about my kid.) And I already regret that we lost so many years of the relationship we should have had because of the damage my husband did to both of us. I'm trying to make up for lost time now, and we have a fantastic relationship. But I still carry the guilt of letting that trauma infiltrate for so long and knowing how deeply it changed the course of our lives. I can't undo it. But I hope I can support them enough as we both recover to cancel some of it out, I guess.
This rings so true for me -- the process of untangling the guilt about living the way I want (despite the possible impact on others) is I'm working through daily right now. If I have deathbed regrets, they'll likely be the times I unwittingly taught my kids to put themselves last by modeling that very behavior. A real conundrum.
My therapist used to use the deathbed technique with me every now and then. It's such a powerful one! I think my deathbed regret would probably be that I wish I could have taught myself how to live more often in a state of presence and joy than fear and anxiety. Especially when it came to things that I couldn't control. I'm still working on it, but I've definitely made strides and am more often able to live in the present. Always a work in progress!
My deathbed regret would be not seeing the Pyramids of Giza. I say "would be" because it won't be. I don't yet know when or how, but I am GOING. On my deathbed I will know what the sand sounds and smells like between the paws of the Sphinx.
My deathbed regret is not that I pursued career goals, but that I was not fully present at times my children needed me. I didn't face the challenge of cellphones, but there's always distractions.
My children, (all grown), and my grandchildren all know what I do in my political work and they all stand behind me and encourage I feel like sometimes I am not doing more than I can, especially now with so much hate and the wat that this Administration is coming for the LGBTQ+ community and all minorities. WIth having three different members of the LGBTQ+ community in my family, including myself, I promised my two grandchildren that I would do everything to protect them and help keep the laws in place that protect them and get more passed. I fear that I won't be able to with Trump in office. With my health right now I fear that if my time comes sooner than I would like I would let my family down. I could not protect them. That would be the one thing I would regret.
It might be not mastering a language other than my native tongue, not ever managing to hit a tennis ball….is it acceptance of my limitations or complacency?
I've gotten to the point in my growth and healing journey that I feel really good about showing up authentically and how I live my life. I'm able to keep my core values central to my actions in the world (most of the time) and I believe it's beneficial to the people in my life to do so. Just being able to say that makes me so proud of the internal work I've done!
And, because two things can be true at the same time, I do worry that my deathbed regret will be how my choices have affected my child. I already regret that I didn't leave my husband soon enough to protect my child from years of psychological and emotional abuse. (Myself too, but of course I'm more concerned about my kid.) And I already regret that we lost so many years of the relationship we should have had because of the damage my husband did to both of us. I'm trying to make up for lost time now, and we have a fantastic relationship. But I still carry the guilt of letting that trauma infiltrate for so long and knowing how deeply it changed the course of our lives. I can't undo it. But I hope I can support them enough as we both recover to cancel some of it out, I guess.
OK. I preordered!! Can't wait.