Being palatable to men. Including my husband. I'm no longer suppressing my feelings and my moral code when something doesn't sit right with me. I've done enough healing that I know I can speak my mind respectfully but directly, and if a man considers that "aggressive" or "rude" that is his issue to reflect upon, not mine. And I'll say so without a cutesy lil smile.
I give zero fucks about not speaking my mind anymore. I will say what I feel. I will speak my truth. I am no longer afraid to use my voice to speak about OUR truths. I give zero fucks about feeling like I am NOT the leader that I know I am. I have grown to know I am that person and I can lead and I am leading now. I give zero fucks about what men think is a woman using her voice and saying she is angry. Yes, wee are angry, we have had enough and just like them, we will use our voice to fight for what is ours and what is right for our country, our fellow sisters, and our families. But when we speak it is because it is our right just like it is theirs. We are equal, unlike they think they are superior. We speak truth to power, not with anger. They just don't know the difference. I give zero fucks about how people think I should look, dress or feel. You do you and I will do me.
I'm a transgender woman in her early 50s. The social expectations that I experience are exactly the same as cisgender women but kind of turbocharged in a way given the necessity of "passing" as it relates to our safety. I used to spend quite a bit of time having my makeup done just right, having my hair done. And making sure that I had the right outfit on. So over that! I'm a busy woman, and unless it's some formal function, I give no fucks about my appearance when I leave the house now. I am not going to spend one single second on my appearance if I have to go grocery shopping or run other errands. Also completely unconcerned about making other people feel uncomfortable. If you don't like what I have to say, that really sounds like a you problem. I think this is part of the process of coming into my own, but also it's my age. My wife has a similar mindset. We are definitely in our "don't give a fuck 50s"!
I love this thread! My “zero fucks” have increased over time, but still have room to grow. I accept that I’m not for everyone. I will stand up for what is right even when it’s uncomfortable- especially when it’s uncomfortable. While I try to understand others’ opinions, I will not stand by and listen to haters and those that are part of the current administration’s cult.
My first impulse was to say I have zero fucks left to give for my home state of Florida, but I don’t believe in lost causes. Shannon, if you want to contact me after you get settled in Tampa Bay, I’m in Sarasota and ready for some good trouble. 🩵
My husband’s family. They’re his family, not mine, and he can manage communications and expectations with them. By no means does this mean that I have any sort of ill will, it just frees me up as I already have my own family to wrangle and I’m the primary caretaker of our toddler and little one on the way (without ever once having his fam offer to babysit or change a diaper — so I don’t feel indebted). I was putting so much effort into holiday gifts for them, remembering every birthday, going above and beyond, and all of that energy has now been reinvested into my kid/s. I’ve let go completely of having to be the perfect “in law”
I have zero fucks for people/siblings telling me that I need remarry or have a boyfriend. I also have zero fucks for people who think I am too old to be really enjoying my third career, that I should just be staying home and quilting and knitting and gardening/being an old person.
I have no more fucks to give to anyone who seeks to intimidate. I have no more fucks to give to adults who don’t educate themselves. I’m done with relationships that make me uncomfortable or are not fulfilling. Finally, I have no fucks left to give for the story I was told of what I’m supposed to do to live a good and right life.
Years ago, I stopped going to the family weeklong Christmas New Year’s vacation. This meant I had a week to myself with no kids, no partner, no pets. Other women envied me. Was I being a good daughter-in-law? I don’t care if I was or wasn’t. I was being good to myself.
People will come and go from your life. Learn from the past, live in the present, and give no fucks about the opinions of what other people think about you. Show them who you are and what you stand for. The ones that stay and understand your soul become your tribe. ✌🏼 ❤️ 🌈 ✨
I have zero fucks for now-former friends and allies in government or my personal life who've turned into anti-Zionists and even antisemites. Standing up for my family and temple community, and staying true to my own personal convictions, is more important than gingerly appeasement.
Alcohol. After many years I realized it takes away more that it adds to life. And it's amazing how many social situations revolve/encourage drinking. I want to be fully engaged, I want to remember conversations, I want a full life so f%#k booze.
Realizing that the phone works both ways. It's not all on me. I don't have to be the one responsible for every single social/family thing ever. If someone wanted to connect, they would.
As a lifelong people-pleaser, I care a whole lot less of what people think of me. (But i am still working on this.)
👏👏👏
Being palatable to men. Including my husband. I'm no longer suppressing my feelings and my moral code when something doesn't sit right with me. I've done enough healing that I know I can speak my mind respectfully but directly, and if a man considers that "aggressive" or "rude" that is his issue to reflect upon, not mine. And I'll say so without a cutesy lil smile.
Love!!
This.
working on this one too!
I give zero fucks about not speaking my mind anymore. I will say what I feel. I will speak my truth. I am no longer afraid to use my voice to speak about OUR truths. I give zero fucks about feeling like I am NOT the leader that I know I am. I have grown to know I am that person and I can lead and I am leading now. I give zero fucks about what men think is a woman using her voice and saying she is angry. Yes, wee are angry, we have had enough and just like them, we will use our voice to fight for what is ours and what is right for our country, our fellow sisters, and our families. But when we speak it is because it is our right just like it is theirs. We are equal, unlike they think they are superior. We speak truth to power, not with anger. They just don't know the difference. I give zero fucks about how people think I should look, dress or feel. You do you and I will do me.
Yes, Roseann!!
I'm a transgender woman in her early 50s. The social expectations that I experience are exactly the same as cisgender women but kind of turbocharged in a way given the necessity of "passing" as it relates to our safety. I used to spend quite a bit of time having my makeup done just right, having my hair done. And making sure that I had the right outfit on. So over that! I'm a busy woman, and unless it's some formal function, I give no fucks about my appearance when I leave the house now. I am not going to spend one single second on my appearance if I have to go grocery shopping or run other errands. Also completely unconcerned about making other people feel uncomfortable. If you don't like what I have to say, that really sounds like a you problem. I think this is part of the process of coming into my own, but also it's my age. My wife has a similar mindset. We are definitely in our "don't give a fuck 50s"!
50s are the best for that!
I have finally gotten to a point in my life where I give zero fucks about holding on to friendships that do not serve me. It is very liberating!!!!
Well said! Same for me.
Love it!
I love this thread! My “zero fucks” have increased over time, but still have room to grow. I accept that I’m not for everyone. I will stand up for what is right even when it’s uncomfortable- especially when it’s uncomfortable. While I try to understand others’ opinions, I will not stand by and listen to haters and those that are part of the current administration’s cult.
Love, Jen!!
My first impulse was to say I have zero fucks left to give for my home state of Florida, but I don’t believe in lost causes. Shannon, if you want to contact me after you get settled in Tampa Bay, I’m in Sarasota and ready for some good trouble. 🩵
Thank you!
My husband’s family. They’re his family, not mine, and he can manage communications and expectations with them. By no means does this mean that I have any sort of ill will, it just frees me up as I already have my own family to wrangle and I’m the primary caretaker of our toddler and little one on the way (without ever once having his fam offer to babysit or change a diaper — so I don’t feel indebted). I was putting so much effort into holiday gifts for them, remembering every birthday, going above and beyond, and all of that energy has now been reinvested into my kid/s. I’ve let go completely of having to be the perfect “in law”
THIS! I came to this conclusion years ago, and so happy I did—it is so freeing!
Love this!
I have zero fucks for people/siblings telling me that I need remarry or have a boyfriend. I also have zero fucks for people who think I am too old to be really enjoying my third career, that I should just be staying home and quilting and knitting and gardening/being an old person.
Love it, Chris.
I have no more fucks to give to anyone who seeks to intimidate. I have no more fucks to give to adults who don’t educate themselves. I’m done with relationships that make me uncomfortable or are not fulfilling. Finally, I have no fucks left to give for the story I was told of what I’m supposed to do to live a good and right life.
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Yaaassss to it all!
On the lighter side, I’m an avid birder, even talk to the birds, and I don't give a hoot what anyone thinks/says.
Ha, love it!
Love this one…from a few days ago…Eastern Bluebird. 🐦🙌
Years ago, I stopped going to the family weeklong Christmas New Year’s vacation. This meant I had a week to myself with no kids, no partner, no pets. Other women envied me. Was I being a good daughter-in-law? I don’t care if I was or wasn’t. I was being good to myself.
Good to yourself - the most important part!
People will come and go from your life. Learn from the past, live in the present, and give no fucks about the opinions of what other people think about you. Show them who you are and what you stand for. The ones that stay and understand your soul become your tribe. ✌🏼 ❤️ 🌈 ✨
Love!
I have zero fucks for now-former friends and allies in government or my personal life who've turned into anti-Zionists and even antisemites. Standing up for my family and temple community, and staying true to my own personal convictions, is more important than gingerly appeasement.
👏👏👏
Alcohol. After many years I realized it takes away more that it adds to life. And it's amazing how many social situations revolve/encourage drinking. I want to be fully engaged, I want to remember conversations, I want a full life so f%#k booze.
Realizing that the phone works both ways. It's not all on me. I don't have to be the one responsible for every single social/family thing ever. If someone wanted to connect, they would.
Hell yes they would. Amazing, Katy!